About Carol

Carol likes to read for fun. Her reading material tends to be fluffy, funny, and/or frivolous. If she were stranded on an island with only one author's books she would take Dave Barry. She obsessively records what she reads and what she wants to read on GoodReads.

Talking to Strangers (About Books) Part 2

Greetings, intrepid readers! In my last post I talked about all the amazing things happening for bookworms on social media. I highlighted three different platforms (Goodreads, Instagram, and Litsy) and detailed the top 5 types of conversations you’re likely to have among fellow readers on those apps. Today I’m going to review some of the stellar books I’ve read as a result of these conversations with strangers. All of these books were outside of my typical fluffy/frivolous reading repertoire and I never would have picked them up had I not seen in-depth reviews and quotes from readers on bookish social media. I should add these are listed in the order I read them. And some of these were partially reviewed in my post last month about the 24 in 48 Readathon.

rupi kaur milk and honey by carol on litsy
Milk & Honey by Rupi Kaur
It seemed like everyone who hadn’t read this book when it came out late last year was picking it up for the first time in April for National Poetry Month. I typically don’t read much poetry but I made an exception for this title. In her first book of poetry, Rupi Kaur takes us deep into her life with extremely personal poems about her childhood, past boyfriends, and learning to heal after trauma and breakups. It’s a quick read, but one that is extremely frank and open about what she’s gone through in her life. Even with all of the personal details, most women will find themselves somewhere in this book. I do love how it ends on an uplifting note, as if to say this too shall pass and I am stronger now for having gone through all of this. I also like the “everywoman” appeal of the poems as they invite each woman to look back on her relationships, her period, how she got through extremely trying times and came through stronger, though hurting.

lindy west shrill by carol on litsy
Shrill: Notes From a Loud Woman by Lindy West
I am apparently the only person who had not heard of Lindy West before this book, and even so I got to it too late to see her at a reading in Seattle as she was traveling around the country on her book tour this spring. I regret not having her on my radar until now, but I have been forever changed by reading her book Shrill. Not only does Lindy tackle major topics like feminism, abortion, and rape culture, she is the number one poster child for squashing fat-shaming and having positive body acceptance. During her book I found myself questioning my own attitude towards my body, and asking myself why I let others’ opinions of what they think I should wear and what they think is appropriate or not for my body type affect what I purchase and what I wear. The day after finishing Shrill I wore a dressy pair of shorts to work. People saw my knees and I didn’t die!

roxane gay bad feminist by carol on litsy
Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay
Reading Roxane Gay is a lot like talking with your most level-headed friend. Even if the subject matter is one that evokes strong feelings, she keeps her cool and tries to discuss these important things with you in a calm, clear manner. In Bad Feminist Roxane Gay manages to cover everything from pop culture to rape to feminism to a career in academia. She doesn’t talk down to us, but rather goes out of her way to lay out the inequalities, the injustices, the annoyances, and the facts in a matter-of-fact and yet empathetic way. There is a definite juxtaposition of mixing very serious topics with lighter ones. I was extremely fascinated reading about her time as a competitive Scrabble player. First of all, I didn’t even know that such a thing existed. But I realize that to do anything competitively there is a suggestion that your skills stand above the average person. To play Scrabble competitively implies an intellect and strength of character that few posses. Such is the case with Roxane Gay. She is smart. She is funny. She is working on a book called Hunger that I can’t wait to get my hands on, and I get the feeling I will always react with grabby hands when someone mentions a new release by her.

claudia rankine citzen an american lyric by carol on litsy
Citizen: an American Lyric by Claudia Rankine
Every time something horrible, unjust, and tragic happens in this world, the bookish social media clusters swarm together in shared empathy, seeking understanding  to try and make sense of the senseless. Such was the case with Citizen. I want to live in a world where this book isn’t necessary–but the sad and disgusting truth is this book is very much-needed. There are many put-yourself-in-this-situation passages that are written in the second person. The use of the second person is clever and intentional in a book that tries to expose life in a racist country. Because as much as we would like to think we have evolved past racism, bigotry, and inequality, we have not. As a country, we still have so far to go it’s heartbreaking. But that’s why books like this are here for you, and why I recommend everyone read it. Everyone. Bookish social media declared this required reading for every American citizen and I wholeheartedly agree.

rebecca solnit men explain things to me by carol on litsy
Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit
Once again my bookish social media connections raved about a book, calling it necessary reading, and once again I picked up the gauntlet. And while this book isn’t just about mansplaining–a term the author has mixed feelings about–it definitely is about the disenfranchised and the cultural missteps that need to be corrected if we are ever going to improve our communities.The passages that really stood out to me involved having a voice and being heard. Historically it has been disgustingly easy for the group in power to silence anyone else whose opinions, thoughts, feelings, or civil liberties would infringe upon the leading group’s power. But the more that people band together to share one voice–civil rights, women’s suffrage, feminism, exposing racism in one’s community–the harder it is to ignore the message.

These relatively short books packed a mighty literary punch. While I wouldn’t have sought them out on my own, I am so glad my bookish comrades urged me on. Not only was I reading out of my fluffy comfort zone, I was seeing the world through some very different perspectives. You’ll notice these books were strong on themes of racism and sexism, feminist to the core. I’m currently falling down a rabbit hole of such, with book recommendations based on these books spiraling out from my TBR pile.

More books that bookish social media has recommended to me that deal with race and racism include Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates, and Freedom is a Constant Struggle: Ferguson, Palestine, and the Foundations of a Movement by Angela Davis.

More books that bookish social media has recommended to me that deal with sexism and feminism include Everyday Sexism by Laura Bates, Sex Object by Jessica Valenti, and He’s a Stud, She’s a Slug and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know also by Jessica Valenti.

Hopefully you’ve not only gained some new titles to add to your TBR pile but also seen what good can come from social media. I’ve rarely encountered a troll on Goodreads, Litsy, or the #bookstagram portion of Instagram. It’s kind of like a book nerd’s utopia. We’re definitely living in the golden age of reading. Seize the day and your smartphone and join the reading revolution!

Talking to Strangers (About Books) Part 1

I know I’ve said this before but here it is again: we are living in the golden age of reading. Never before (at least in my lifetime) has it been so cool to be caught reading. It’s not unheard of to encounter people walking around town sporting vintage Vonnegut T-shirts or Jane Austen cell phone cases. Literary tattoos are plastered all over social media; chances are you know someone with at least one. We have Kindles and tablets and ebooks and downloadable audiobooks and so many ways to read a book without having an actual book in hand. Instagram has a whole community dedicated to books and readers known as #bookstagram, celebrities like Emma Watson have their own Goodreads book clubs that gets thousands of people across the world reading the same book at the same time, a new app for readers called Litsy has recently gone viral, and it seems like anyone with something to say about books has a blog–us included!

So it’s no wonder that I have been spending a lot of time lately on bookish social media. I manage some of the library accounts but most of my time on these platforms is when I’m acting as a private citizen. Goodreads, Instagram, and Litsy are populated with passionate readers who love to talk about their favorite topic: books! Today I’ll be talking about some of the different types of conversations/experiences one can expect to have on bookish social media.

when harry met carol on litsy
Conversation #1: OMGZ THIS BOOK IS AH-MAY-ZING!
These are straight-up unadulterated fangirl or fanboy posts. Often initiated because of the acquisition of a long-awaited book, or one currently hot and trending. Sometimes it’s even more special, a rare first edition of a classic work of literature. People posting these photos have so much enthusiasm for what they’re talking about that their excitement practically makes the screen vibrate. Often it doesn’t take long for someone to reach out to the poster and let them know how they also have that book, or how they also want to read it so badly they just can’t hardly wait any longer. The bonds made over these posts can result in actual friendships.
Best platform(s) for this type of conversation:
Goodreads, Instagram and Litsy

mindy kaling pin on instagram by bildungsromans
Conversation #2: Look at this incredible cute/useful/rare bookish accessory I acquired!
Most often populating your feed during book/library/comic conventions, these posts can spark instant jealousy–but in a good way. With the rare exception, the bookish communities lurking on these social networks tend to be a welcoming bunch with nary a troll among them. So when I say jealousy, I mean in the kind of supportive way you’d expect from the nicest person you know. And often the person replying just wants to know where he/she can acquire similar because they love it so much. Much like a bargain hunter, bookish people love to show off their newest prizes and are happy to share the shop/convention where they got such a rad thing.
Best platform(s) for this type of conversation:
Instagram and Litsy

harry potter morsmordre bookflip by bildungsromans on instagram
Conversation #3: Photo challenges.
If you use photo-centric apps you are probably familiar with photo block. It’s like writer’s block but for ideas on what to photograph. When you feel like there’s nothing new going on in your reading life to post about, you can always jump in with one of the many photo challenges floating around. Usually run by book bloggers, these challenges are meant to give inspiration and also to bring people together. Each day there is a different photo prompt, sometimes based around a central theme for the month, like Harry Potter. By following the hashtag associated with the photo challenge, you can see what everyone else is doing. I have connected with some majorly creative people through photo challenges, though I do find that if I take a month to do a photo challenge I will skip the next month. I can only take so much structure. I blame my Bohemian ancestry!
Best platform(s) for this type of conversation:
Instagram and Litsy

a review by carol of headstrong on litsy
Conversation #4: Sharing actual quotes and illustrations from the book as I’m reading it.
What’s better than happening upon a truly insightful, inspiring, hilarious, or thought-provoking quote while reading? Sharing it instantly with strangers! You might be amazed at how many strangers you’ll connect with by sharing these quotes. I have witnessed spontaneous book clubs sprout up, and reading buddies unify. A reading buddy is someone who reads the same book as someone else at roughly the same time, like a two-person book club. Usually these are planned, but there’s something truly beautiful when you see two people connect halfway through reading the same book and then finish it out together. It can also be very satisfying to get validation from other people when you get to a particularly frustrating or profound part of a story. Even better when you have a differing opinion and opposing voices discuss it. Remember how I said nary a troll lives in the bookish part of social media? I meant it, and here’s where the proof lies.
Best platform(s) for this type of conversation:
Goodreads, Instagram, Litsy

giant days post on litsy by carol
Conversation #5: If you like that book, you will love these other 10.
How many of you have ever gotten a book recommendation from a librarian? A friend? A dentist? I have received great suggestions from all three, but it seems especially magical when this recommendation comes from someone I’ve never met and probably never will meet. In conversation #4 I talked about connecting over a book that someone is currently reading and continuously posting about as he/she goes along. Conversation #5 is often the result. You just discovered this way cool read? Here are a bunch of others by the same author/in the same genre/in the same weird literary niche. Not only will this help you travel down the particular reading rabbit hole you’d stumbled across, it will often get you to read outside your comfort zone or discover authors you’d never have found if you had been left to your own devices.
Best platform(s) for this type of conversation:
Goodreads, Instagram, Litsy

And that brings us to book discoveries as a result of bookish social media. Unfortunately I’ve run out of space, so this will continue with Part 2. Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion!

What to Read for a Readathon

24 in 48 readathon

This is exactly as heavy as it looks! TBR stands for To Be Read and mine is varied and mostly fun fluff. The dots on my sweater and all the writing was done in the Litsy app, which is like Instagram and GoodReads had an adorable baby that’s impossible to put down.

Even if you’ve never heard the term before in your entire life, you can probably infer what a readathon actually is. It’s a glorious time where you pledge to read for a certain amount of time on a particular day or days. Participants are encouraged to take to their social media streams to share what they’re reading, favorite quotes, beverages they’re consuming to help get them through any reading slumps, etc. I’ll be participating in the 24 in 48 Readathon this weekend, which just means that in the 48 hours of Saturday & Sunday I will read for 24 of them. I can break it up however I like, and break it up I shall.

While it’s true I’ve never participated in a readathon before, I have researched enough to (hopefully) know what I’m doing. The key to everything, I’m told, is to have a variety of reading material at hand so if I start to get burnt out on one format I can switch it up and give myself a second wind. With that in mind, I present to you some stellar examples of each preferred readathon format.

Graphic Novels
You already know about my love of comics and graphic novels. As I reported last month I had a giant stack of single issue comic books at home that I just hadn’t gotten around to reading. I’m happy to say I have plowed through most of them, but some of the larger story arcs and single release graphic novels remain. Nimona is on the very top of the list, partially due to Alan’s recommendation last year and also since it was a National Book Award finalist. It’s by Noelle Stevenson, one of the creators of Lumberjanes (I love Lumberjanes!). Hot Dog Taste Test by Lisa Hanawalt gets into foodie culture with witty observations and hilarious illustrations. I’ll probably use the graphic novels as a segue from one book to another, though due to having a pretty hefty backlog of some Marvel comics I might read a whole series run in one go. We shall see!

Poetry
I recently learned that poetry doesn’t have to be boring. Yes, I know I sound like a 12 year old but thanks to an education that forced me to find obscure (and often manufactured) meaning in poems I pretty much have avoided them as an adult. All of that changed when I read Milk and Honey which is written and illustrated by Rupi Kaur. This extremely personal collection of autobiographical poems takes you deep into Rupi’s soul as she rips her heart out and lays it bare for all to read. There’s love, loss, family, heartache, sex, and what it means to be a woman. If you’re looking for something lighter, try Quarter Life Poetry: Poems for the Young, Broke, and Hangry by Samantha Jayne. While these poems also seem to burst forth from the poet’s life, there’s a decidedly different tone. Colorfully illustrated, these funny and irreverent poems will resonate with adults young & not-so-young.

Essays
I recently discovered the book that changed my reading life. Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman by local author Lindy West turned my world upside down. You see, much like poetry, I had the gigantic misconception that feminist works had to be dry, dull, or just not written well. Shrill changed it all for me and led me down the road to Bad Feminist: Essays by Roxane Gay. I had mistakenly assumed that Bad Feminist would be a book entirely about feminism. It’s more like a look at life — feminism included — through someone else’s eyes. I just checked out The Geek Feminist Revolution by Kameron Hurley. It promises to combine the two biggest parts of me — nerd and feminist — and I can’t hardly wait to dive in. Plus, there’s a dinosaur on the cover. I can’t pass up a good dino! I’ve also got all of Mary Roach’s back catalog that I purchased when she was in town in April. She autographed them all, and I felt guilty telling her I’d never read her books. However, I did immediately follow that up with how excited I was to read them and now is the perfect opportunity.

mary roach and the ellisons

My husband and I got to chat with bestselling author Mary Roach when she visited Everett in April as part of EPL’s Ways to Read. Did you get to meet her, too? Our library is the best!

Short Stories
A few months back I had the (surprise) pleasure of reading and falling in love with Warlock Holmes by G.S. Denning. While I knew it was going to be a crazy retelling of Sherlock Holmes with magic and beasts, I didn’t realize (although I should) that it would be more of a collection of short stories, just like the original Sherlock Holmes books were. You can read a story, move to another book, and come back to Warlock Holmes and read the next story. You can pretty much read them in any order you want after the first story that sets up the world. I have also checked out Chainmail Bikini: the Anthology of Women Gamers. It’s in graphic novel format but it’s truly short, autobiographical stories of girl geeks I can’t wait to read.

Novellas
I confess I had forgotten that I owned Parnassus on Wheels by Christopher Morley. It came in one of those literary subscription boxes and I didn’t know what I had. Someone just told me it’s about a bookmobile, which, hello wheelhouse! I usually don’t go for novellas because I tend to want more when I’m finished: more characterization, more plot, more everything. However, I’ve been told this one is perfect the way it is and so I will go into it with that in mind.

Bookshots
If you’ve been following us on social media and/or been to a grocery store in the last few months you’ve heard about and/or seen Bookshots. Bookshots are the newest James Patterson creations that are taking the reading world by storm. Bookshots’ aim is to change people’s minds and habits by convincing them that their excuse, “I’m too busy to read an entire book!” isn’t true at all. These books are short and I would consider them novellas. Multiple Bookshots titles are published each month so there’s always a variety to choose from. Be sure to check out the Quick Picks collections when you’re at the library as most of the Bookshots titles are going into that wonderful grab-and-go, no-holds-allowed collection.

You’ll notice most of the books I’m writing about aren’t featured in my readathon TBR photo above. That’s because I’ve already read them and wrote this just for you, to encourage you to sign up and join the reading fun. A few people have told me that they really want to participate but are pretty sure there’s no way they can fit 24 solid hours of reading into their weekend. That’s totally okay! The whole point is to schedule some reading time into an otherwise hectic life and maybe connect with some other readers along the way. You can follow along with me if you like. I’m on Twitter & Instagram as bildungsromans and on Litsy as Carol. Ready? Set? Readathon!

Comics TBR

comics tbr

Comic books! I totally missed out on the awesomeness of comics when I was a kid and I find myself more than making up for it as an adult. Lately, however, I find that my eyes are bigger than my allotted reading time. It’s like being at a buffet and filling up plate after plate, but in the end you only have so much time to eat.

I’m hoping to grab some time this weekend to play a little catch-up, and I thought a great way to psych myself up would be to share with you just a few of the series that are currently casting a shadow in front of my Shakespeare books at home. I’ll pair them up how I plan to read them. Maybe if you’ve already read one, you’d consider reading its complementary series?

Lumberjanes & Gotham Academy
Lumberjanes was one of the first comic series I really got into reading. A group of girls meets at summer camp and form fast friendships. Soon, however, they realize the surrounding woods are home to magical creatures who aren’t always harmless. It’s up to our gals from the Roanoke cabin to take all that knowledge they gained from earning badges and apply it to the real-life situations they face.

Gotham Academy is about an adventurous group of kids about the same age as our Lumberjanes. Though these kids attend a boarding school outside Gotham City, they also have their share of run-ins with the impossible. And while these two have similarities, they’re listed here together because just this month a new comic series has begun where they have put both casts of characters together in one adventure. This new team-up series is going to be one of the first comics I finish off of that giant stack pictured above.

Batgirl & Black Canary
Did you know that the original Batgirl, Barbara Gordon, was a librarian? It’s true! And while the reboot of one of my favorite characters has gone in a new direction (Babs is in her 20s and in college) I’m totally loving it. There’s a lot of focus on her struggle to balance school, work, friendships, and relationships with fighting crime in Burnside (kinda like Brooklyn).

Dinah Lance is a character I first met in an issue of Batgirl. She fronts a band called Black Canary…and I’m having trouble remembering more details because I’ve only read the first issue! I do remember that they’re like a magnet for trouble. All their concerts get riot-ish and it’s up to them to find out why before they start losing fans.

She-Hulk & Patsy Walker aka Hellcat
Okay, so I’ve actually read all the She-Hulk issues and am almost up-to-date on Patsy Walker aka Hellcat. However, these two pair so well together I had to take the opportunity to tell you about them. She-Hulk, Jennifer Walters, is a defense attorney and a Hulk who can actually control her rage. Hellcat, Patsy Walker, works for a time as an investigator for She-Hulk. The two are really good friends who work well together, both professionally and personally. And they’re both willing to go the extra mile for the underdog.

Rat Queens & Nimona
I’m big into RPGs (role playing games) and so it’s totally surprising that I haven’t actually read Rat Queens yet. Here’s the summary from the library’s catalog:

Who are the Rat Queens? A pack of booze-guzzling, death-dealing battle maidens-for-hire, and they’re in the business of killing all god’s creatures for profit. It’s also a darkly comedic sass-and-sorcery series starring Hannah the Rockabilly Elven Mage, Violet the Hipster Dwarven Fighter, Dee the Atheist Human Cleric and Betty the Hippy Smidgen Thief.

Nimona will also appeal to fantasy fans, though again I’m not sure why I haven’t read this yet. The character Nimona is a shapeshifter who teams up with a villain and tries to prove that the heroes of the land aren’t actually heroes after all. Alan reviewed it last year as one of the best graphic novels of 2015, so I would truly be a fool to let this sit around collecting dust much longer.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. If we consider my stack of unread comic books a buffet, I am planning to gorge myself and soon!

Genesis Girl by Jennifer Bardsley

genesis girl jennifer bardsley

Blanca’s parents never posted baby photos of her on Facebook. They never taught her to ride a bike, or took her to Girl Scouts, or even walked her to school. They’ve never even taken a family photograph together. That’s because Blanca’s parents severed all lines of communication when she was very young, choosing to offer her up as a Vestal postulant.

Blanca has been raised her whole life at Tabula Rasa, a boarding school/cloistered academy of sorts that raises children to be supplicant and free of all technology. She’s been training her whole life to be a Vestal, essentially an internet virgin incapable of making decisions for herself. In a world where technology has moved away from handheld phones and literally into the user’s hands in the form of tech implants, Blanca and her classmates are extremely valuable. No one outside the school has ever seen them or a photograph of them.

When a Vestal graduates from Tabula Rasa at eighteen, corporations bid on them. They will purchase Vestals to serve as product spokespeople. A Vestal’s image has never before been released on the internet, and now the corporation owns everything about their likeness. Consumers find Vestal families depicted in advertising campaigns as trustworthy, wholesome, and believable. Even though everyone knows how a Vestal is made, the corporations still sell so many more products and services when a Vestal is involved in the ads.

I’ll let Blanca explain it:

For a Vestal, a clear Internet history is the most important
thing. Without that, I’m nothing. Our elusive privacy is what makes us valuable. I’ve watched our class shrink from two hundred eager postulants to a graduating group of ten. The infractions were usually unavoidable: their memory was spotty, their temperament was bad, or worst of all, they turned out ugly. But once in a while, somebody was thrown out because of an online transgression. Everyone left is bankable. Ten perfect human specimens who could sell you anything.

Still with me? This is a dystopian society in which technology has played a key part in the destruction of the human race. In this world, brain cancer has killed off many of the previous generation thanks to radiation in cell phones. That’s why tech implants in fingers and hands have become popular. People no longer have to hold the tech to their heads. But it also makes it easier for someone to sneakily take a photograph of someone, which is why Vestals aren’t ever allowed outside of Tabula Rasa’s lead walls.

That is, until the day our book begins, when someone manages to break into the underground parking area of Tabula Rasa as Blanca and her friend Fatima are attempting to get into a vehicle to take them to their auction. Blanca is stunned, horrified and not sure what to do. I mean, our girl immediately fights back in the form of kicking the photographer and trying to prevent him from uploading her image. But with her image potentially out there for the world to see, she fears no corporation will want her, no one will bid on her, and she’ll be let go with her whole life up til now being a big waste.

Corporations aren’t the only entities that can bid on a Vestal. There are also private bidders, and a Vestal purchased by one is considered to have “gone Geisha.” That’s because the speculation is usually that a Vestal purchased by an individual will actually be treated like a wife or husband, rather than an employee.

Genesis Girl brings a fun-house mirror up to our current society obsessed with technology and asks: what if tech was everything? What if we put some serious value on those who don’t use technology and are truly present in every conversation? The book also kept turning the tables, forcing both Blanca and the reader to repeatedly change their perception of Blanca’s identity. Will she go Geisha? If so, does that mean she will be forever stigmatized? Will she even be bid upon or thrust back into the cruel world with no notion of how to operate even the simplest computer? What will happen to her Vestal friends? And what is going to happen to that rude guy who took her photo on the first page of the book?

You guys, I usually don’t like dystopias and it’s rare that I can get into a Sci-Fi novel. But I completely loved Genesis Girl. In fact, I had a few chapters left last Sunday when I snuck it into The Paramount to finish at intermission. Genesis Girl is the start of a series, which you will be happy to hear once you read the ending and are left wanting more! More Blanca! More of the crazy world depicted! More secrets revealed!

The author of this insanely addicting book, Jennifer Bardsley, is more than just a debut author. She’s even more than just a Pacific Northwest/Snohomish County author. She’s the genius behind The Herald’s weekly parenting column, I Brake for Moms. Yes: her words break out into the world from right here in Everett! She was kind enough to send me an advance copy of the book, as well as some awesome bookmarks that we’ve put out in the teen area for you. She has a huge following on Instagram, where I first connected with her. As I was writing this she posted a video trailer for Genesis Girl that you need to go watch right now! And she recently gave us a peek into the life of a debut author via this article in The Herald.

What more could you possibly want? Read Genesis Girl and I guarantee you will want the next book in the series.

641.84: A Tale of Two Burgers

pornburger

I. Love. Burgers.

At any given moment I would like nothing more than to sink my teeth into a couple of juicy, almost sizzling patties smothered in cheese, grilled onions, and topped with a slice of tomato and crispy thin bacon. I think Jimmy Buffet said it best:

I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well, good God Almighty which way do I steer?!
Apparently you steer toward the actual Cheeseburger in Paradise restaurant in one of seven states (sadly, not Washington…yet).

So it should come as no surprise that two recently acquired cookbooks have sent my heart into a tizzy, not just because of all the cholesterol it’s now anticipating.

Pornburger: Hot Buns and Juicy Beefcakes by Mathew Ramsey is not just the winner for ‘Best Title of the Year’ in my mental book awards. It’s a mouthwatering cookbook perfect for summer evenings spent around the grill. I literally salivate every time I open the book. This cannot be stressed enough. Do not read this book on an empty stomach. You have been warned.

Glad we got that out of the way! Pornburger has some incredible basic and not-so-basic burger recipes to satisfy both your burger cravings and your need to create something magical in the kitchen. Ramsey calls the book “an ingredient-driven Choose Your Own Adventure-style experiment, where all roads lead into the mouth of burger madness.” And it’s true! You are the boss of your own burger recipe. You can mix and match sauces, condiments, veggies, pickles, buns, etc.

You’re not limited to just ground beef patties either. Venison, pork, lamb, chicken (ground or fried–yes, fried chicken!) or even lobster can be your main attraction. There’s even a great recipe for a veggie burger that looks so much better than those sad frozen pucks you buy in a box.

And don’t stop there! Make your own pickles and condiments and wow the pants off of your dinner party (not literally–though, whatever floats your boat). Some examples include mustard caviar, pumpkin aioli, bacon jam, relish, and even bacon peanut butter. Why I haven’t made that last one yet is obviously a major oversight on my part. There are also recipes to make your own buns and breads, as well as sides and drinks sure to compliment your creations.

But wait, there’s more! While Pornburger is everything I’ve ever wanted in a burger cookbook, I’m also a rabid fan of the TV show Bob’s Burgers which just recently aired their 100th episode. Since the first episode was broadcast, my friend and colleague Jennifer was on my case to watch that show. “You’re going to love it!” was a phrase I heard until my ears bled. Like a fool I resisted until about season 3. She convinced me to give it one episode and if I didn’t love it, she’d never mention it again.

Reader, I loved it to pieces.

If you’re not familiar, Bob’s Burgers is both the name of an animated TV show and the name of the burger restaurant featured in the show. The Belcher family runs this small burger joint in a small seaside community on the East Coast.

Smash-cut to two years later and the world has been gifted with the publication of The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book: Real Recipes for Joke Burgers. For those in the know, Bob keeps a daily burger board behind the counter. Each day on the show the burger of the day changes, and there’s usually a dad pun involved in the name. Well, the geniuses at Fox decided that they should take all those pun-burgers and turn them into actual recipes.

bobs burgers with beefsquatch

What better way to introduce this cookbook than to replicate the Beefsquatch episode (season 2, episode 9)? Bob gets cast as a TV chef on a local morning show, and Gene steals the show as the burger-mad Beefsquatch. The recipe for that episode’s Bruschetta ‘Bout It burger is on page 25.

I know what you’re thinking. The pun burgers on Bob’s Burgers are so simple, why would I need a recipe to create them at home? I see where you’re going but I’m here to tell you you’re wrong. Or, just not right. Not only do the recipes go into greater detail than Bob’s burger board could ever hope to go, the recipes are actually funny to read.

Here’s a great example. It’s the Don’t You Four Cheddar ‘Bout Me Burger from the episode Linda-Pendent Woman (season 3, episode 13). Behold the description ahead of the ingredient list:

How many cheddars are too many in a burger? Science doesn’t know yet. This burger handles four safely and deliciously. The all-beef patty is stuffed with two different cheddars, cooked in bacon fat, and then topped with two other completely different cheddars. Throw some crispy bacon on it along with lettuce and onions, and call it a beautiful, fantastic, cheesy day.

The recipes are all peppered with Bob’s humor in this way. Fans of the show will recognize the way he drops those dad puns and how sometimes he even goes back to emphasize them, in a ‘see what I did there?’ sort of way. Reading this in Bob’s voice adds another layer of hilarity to the process.

You vegetarians will enjoy the veggie burger recipes inside. I have been pleasantly surprised to find veggie-tastic recipes in both of these burger books, and I hope you’ll find something you enjoy making and love to eat.

So there you have it: a porn burger and a pun burger. Not only do these cookbooks provide mouthwatering hunks of deliciousness, they’re also some of the few cookbooks I’ve run across that are actually a joy to read cover-to-cover. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a grill that’s begging for my attention. I just need to put a DVD in first and tilt the speakers toward the sliding door.

Picking Up Your Dropped Haikus

JUNE-JULY 2014

April is National Poetry Month and this year to celebrate we asked you to create a haiku. We shared some on our social media, and had a virtual poetry slam on April 30th. Now comes the best part: seeing all your hard work in one place.

Before I present the list, I wanted to thank you all who sent us a haiku. Some of you sent more than one–how awesome is that?! Not everyone included a title, but if you did I bolded it.

I do need to disclose that a couple aren’t posted here because they did not meet the 5-7-5 syllable arrangement of a proper haiku. So if you don’t see yours here, I do apologize. Perhaps you’d consider sending us a revised haiku? I will post adjusted haikus at a later date, so please do send them in!

I made a few haikus into graphics because it’s easier to share them on social media that way. It doesn’t mean that those haikus were better than the others. It just means I had a readily available image template that fit that particular haiku theme. And when it comes to social media, the easiest path is the one most traveled.

One final note about the haikus: with the exception of the haikus I turned into graphics, which I am spreading evenly throughout this post, I am posting the rest in the order that they were received. If I had to rank them by how much I love them they would all be on one line together because they are all equally awesome.

Okay. On with the show!

There is Nothing Like a Book:
Hanging by a hook
There is nothing like a book
Nothing in the world
–Gerry Provencher

Air smells sweet

Your File:
Your file was so big
It might be very useful
But now it is gone
–Chris

Windows Crashed:
Windows Seven crashed
I am the blue screen of death
No one hears your screams
–Chris

Untitled:
Discover new worlds
In the pages of a book
Adventure awaits
–Rachel Wallis

Books:
From my books flow words.
In paragraphs and chapters
I immerse myself
–Liz Hawkins

Spring Fever:
Spring makes my blood rush
With the need to read and read
And then maybe nap.
–Kathleen Komos

Apartment Life:
Cockroaches frolic
In cubpoards filled with goodies
They touch all my stuff
–Ron Averill

100 Years After the Everett Massacre:
How I’m trespassing?
All I’m doing is sleeping?
Unlawful camping.
–Ti Burtzloff

Haiku Day is April 17

A Good Book:
The words draw me in
Time and space are forgotten
Even chores must wait
–June Carriere

May I help you?
Sitting at the desk
Ready to help you. But still
You walk by. Self serve?
–Alan

Untitled:
I want to do this
Keep calm and drop everything
And read a good book
–Leslie M.

Haiku posted to Twitter

Untitled:
The sun shines brightly
Yet I am inside today
Reading a good book
–L. M.

Untitled:
Do you like to read?
I love reading and writing.
You should ALWAYS read.
–Summer Bailey

Untitled:
Butterflies are great.
Watching them flutter around.
Butterflies are cool.
–Nicole DeSoto

View From My Window:
A Spring green sea of
Trees, accented by splashes
Of milky white blooms.
–Orion Lyonesse

skeins of cirrus clouds

ABCs:
One slim vapor trail,
Like God’s own finger, letters
Across azure skies.
–Orion Lyonesse

Above It All:
Pigeons, crows, and gulls
Wheel and bank upon the breeze,
Reaching for the clouds.
–Orion Lyonesse

Grind:
Daily grind, coffee
Only partially offsets
Daily grind, endless
–Ronnie Maier

Unrequited:
Plaintive meowing,
Desperate for attention.
My cat ignores me.
–Ronnie Maier

Untitled:
The Morrigan comes
To show more of herself through
Reading and learning
–N. Harrison

Untitled:
I like to eat pie
Pie is really delicious
Do you like pie too?
–Ava Baker Olsen

Untitled:
The news is in haikus
My personal gift to you
Thank you for the views
–Kaisen

Summer sun

Untitled:
Imagine a world
Write it down for us to read
Forever a book
–Thomas Rubatino

Haiku:
Haiku Day is fun
If you can count to seven
Haiku fabulous!
–Gloria H.

Piggy:
My love, my anguish
Miss Piggy with attitude
Green envy and pride
–Kermit Frog (Gloria H.)

Spike:
Spikel-un-feickel
Un-ween-dog-eickel, my heart
Original weens
–Gloria H.

Yoga:
Downward dog, bend stretch
Namaste, Shavasana
Pigeon pose, creek, crick
–Gloria H.

Buddy:
Farrah hair, nose job
Best rescue I got for free,
Black and tan Dachshund.
–Gloria H.

Untitled:
Among all the books
I close my eyes and whisper
A new adventure
–Susan Hile

sending all my love

I Didn’t Sign Up For This:
Enveloped in pain,
I lay limp and contorted…
Yoga, boot camp style
–Maryanne Giolitti

Tick Tock:
Writer tapping nose
No song, poetry or prose
Tick tock, writer’s block
–Maryanne Giolitti

Virtual Walk on Hoyt:
Cool, gray asphalt roads
Traffic noises would be mild
Online, indoors–dry!
–Frank T. Morgan

Untitled:
By hook or by crook
Go to the stacks and just look
To find a great book
–Chuck B.

Untitled:
Just starting this job
Tomorrow is a big day
Hope I make it through
–Regina

Untitled:
Oh my mighty moon
Let me bask in your glory
For you are divine
–Lavanya

Passage:
Green shading deeper
Blue, faint now vivid, from gray
Winter wanes, spring gains
–Ed

Untitled:
That paperback smell-
Adolescent memories
Disguised as a book
–Karin Larsen

Untitled:
All symmetrical
Legos at the library
So satisfying
–Lindsay Steele

Untitled:
Help, I can’t find it
Let me look that up for you
It won’t take me long
–Maryanne Giolitti

Untitled:
Open the blank page
Imagination fills page
Magical story
–Lauren H.

Untitled:
Writers and readers
Use books and libraries to
Keep each other sane
–Staci B.

Untitled:
Reading classic books
New releases are out now
There’s something for all
–Lydia

Untitled:
April celebrates
National Poetry Month
This is a haiku
–Leslie M.

To Read:
To read is to be
Inside the pages, I see,
Hear, touch, taste and smell.
–Liz Hawkins

Untitled:
I love a good book!
When the words come together,
Then it all makes sense
–Eden

Are they truly real-Glorious colors livingin Skagit tulips (1)

Untitled:
Wandering through shelves
Many book choices for me
Like a candy store
–Kyle Vold

Untitled:
You don’t want to know
Pottawatamie Hippo
He’s a wanna be!
–Margaret Remick

Smart Heart Start:
Reading makes you smart
Also less alone of heart
That’s just for a start…
–A. Ward

Reading:
Reading, so active
My imagination needs
A gym membership
–Tessa Borrego

Surrounded:
Surrounded by shelves
Words fill the pages of books
Lost in the story
–Lydia

My Grandmother, Elle:
Smart, classy, lady
Exceptional character
Values good coffee.
–Alicia MacDougall

The Slow (and Indeterminable) Demise of Seattle Windshield Wipers: A Tale of Friday Rush Hour:
Rubber drags on drop
-spritzed glass like teeth scraping tin.
When will your death come?
–Chelsey Slattum

For My Librarians:
Haiku just for you
Who shelve the books I adore
How can I thank you
–Larry Maass

Pacific NorthWet:
Does it ever stop
I said when I first came here
Referencing the RAIN
–Larry Maass

Banned:
The dog stands outside
Denied access to knowledge
Just for eating books
–Larry Maass

Untitled:
What do you see when
Your eyes are closed by your mind
Is open to all
–Larry Maass

Under F for Flight:
Dropsy popsy do
Read a little birdy book
Celebration flight
–Yvonne Davis

Untitled:
Do you like to read
Reading is so important
You should ALWAYS read
–Summer Bailey