Category Archives: Crafts & How To

Celebrate National Poetry Month with a Friendly Competition

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The Ode Less TravelledCalling all creatives! The Everett Public Library would like to hear you wax poetic about the things we love the most: books, reading, writing, our library, or just libraries in general. Throughout the month of April, aka National Poetry Month, we’ll be asking you to send in your original haiku or limericks with library-related themes. Why haiku and limericks? Because both forms are short and governed by pretty specific rules, so that makes our jobs as judges slightly easier.

If you haven’t had (or wanted) to write poetry since high school, that’s all right – I can help refresh your memory on how it’s done.

Haiku

How to HaikuWhen writing haiku, poets are restricted to a set number of syllables (or distinct units of sound) in each line. Haiku are made up of three lines: the first line has 5 syllables, the second line has 7, and the third line has 5. These lines do not have to rhyme, and more often than not, they don’t. Just to show you how it’s done, a couple of our librarians gave it a shot:

Turn this page and read—
A new chapter, a new idea.
This book is like Spring.

Reading quietly
Hail pounding on the roof
Glad to be inside

Limericks

There Once was a Very Odd SchoolFor those of you who like a good chuckle, the limerick may be more your style. These short rhyming poems are generally nonsensical, and sometimes a little bit naughty. Because we’re an all-ages establishment, we’re going to ask you to keep your entries family friendly, but we’d still like to see if you can crack our judges up. Here’s the how-to:

Limericks consist of five lines written in what is sometimes referred to as an aabba rhyming scheme, with the punch line of the poem landing on the last line. There is also a distinct skipping pattern that puts emphasis on specific words (many nursery rhymes follow this pattern). Confusing? Thankfully there are some really great teaching tools online that help explain how to write limericks. Also keep in mind that your lines don’t have to follow this pattern exactly; the most important thing is where you place your rhyming words.

The bare bones of a limerick can be broken down into dots and slashes to show where the emphasized words fall (source: Academy of American Poets):

The pattern can be illustrated with dashes denoting weak syllables, and back-slashes for stresses:

1) – / – - / – - /
2) – / – - / – - /
3) – / – - /
4) – / – - /
5) – / – - / – - /

Next you can fill in the dots and slashes with sounds to get a better feel for the rhythm (source: Poetry4kids.com):

da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

Finally you get to the fun part. Think of a topic or sets of rhyming words you want to use and see how you can fit them into the framework. To illustrate the aabba rhyming scheme I mentioned earlier, check out how I label my lines. Rhyming words fall at the end of each line, with all (A) lines rhyming with each other, and all (B) lines rhyming with each other.

There once was a trickster librarian (A)
Who delighted in being contrarian (A)
You’d ask for a book (B)
She’d give you a cook (B)
And suddenly you’re eating vegetarian (A)

Please, hold your groans – I never claimed to be a pro! Hopefully you get the point because now I’m asking you to give it a try.

The Competition!

To enter our competition, email your entries to me at llabovitch@everettwa.gov. There is no limit to the number of entries that you can submit. The deadline for submission is April 26th at noon. From there our judges will select their favorites and allow you all to vote for your top pick. The winner of the competition will get to see their poem printed in our newsletter, featured on our electronic sign outside, announced on the A Reading Life blog, and will have the awe and respect of the rest of us poetry novices. For more inspiration and examples, click on some of the book covers in this post to check out some books on poetry. Happy writing!

Lisa

Fail Magnificently

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Here we are, firmly wedged into the month of January. The magical glow of New Year’s Eve and memories of our ambitious resolutions have already started to fade. While some just might make this the year that they actually stick to their three-times-a-week gym pledges, others may be looking for a way to gracefully bow out of their publicly-announced best intentions. Thankfully, the Everett Public Library is here not only to support us in our triumphs, but also to help us get through our moments of weakness. So, if you want to kill your resolutions softly by making the best of your surrender, I have a list of books for you.

Here are my recommendations for failing magnificently at some of the more common New Year’s resolutions.

The Butchers Guide to Well-Raised Meat

Eat Healthier and Lose Weight

This is the granddaddy of them all. Who hasn’t sworn, after a long night of New Year’s Eve snacking, that it was time to get the potbelly situation under control? Perhaps you’ve spent the last couple weeks faithfully logging calories and exercise on your new My Fitness Pal app, but today you find yourself caring less than usual. Before you hop in the car after work, blow by the YMCA, and hit the drive through, consider picking up one of the following books to help you break your resolution with a bit more class.

The Pastry Chef’s Apprentice, by Mitch Stamm, provides a really accessible introduction to creating delicious pastries in your home kitchen. Stamm includes a lot of what I like to call ‘action shots’ of what dishes should look like during crucial stages of each recipe. If you’re as lousy of a baker as I am, you know how valuable it is to actually see what the recipe means when it tells you to mix the dough to a certain consistency.

If you prefer savory over sweet, Warren R. Anderson’s Mastering the Craft of Making Sausage may be up your alley. The first half of this book is a richly-illustrated discussion of different methods of making and smoking sausages; the second is a collection of great recipes to try your hand at.

Other sweet and savory honorable mentions to consider:
Chocolate, from Practical Cookery
The Butcher’s Guide to Well-Raised Meat, by Joshua and Jessica Applestone

Who knows? Perhaps making your own guilty pleasures from scratch might burn some calories in the process and ensure that you’re using healthier ingredients.

The Home Winemaker's CompanionDrink Less

This one generally goes the way of weight loss pledges, so in order to help you fail in the same spirit, I suggest the alternative of taking up home brewing, wine making,or distilling. You may find that in the end you’ll opt for quality over quantity because you’ll come to prefer the fruits of your own labor to a couple of Sessions. For the beer drinkers, I recommend checking out The Complete Joy of Home Brewing and The Brewers Apprentice. If wine is more your thing, you can try The Home Winemaker’s Companion. For those of you who secretly harbor dreams of bootlegging and rum-running, you can try your hand at hooch with Making Pure Corn Whiskey. Please remember to brew, stomp, and moonshine responsibly.

Fly SoloSpend More Quality Time with the Kids

Dads of the world, my apologies, because it looks like the fun books for breaking this resolution are more geared towards the ladies. A quick stroll through our travel books turned up these gems:

Fly Solo: the 50 Best Places on Earth for a Girl to Travel Alone, by Teresa Rodriguez Williamson
Best Girlfriends Getaways Worldwide, by Marybeth Bond
Solo Traveler: Tales and Tips for Great Trips, by Lea Lane

Get Rid of that Old Junk in the Garage

But isn’t one man’s trash another man’s treasure? Are you really going to let that other man steal your carefully horded booty? Absolutely not! American Junk and This Old House Salvage-Style Projects may give you the inspiration you need to turn mom’s odd obsession with fancy antique doorknobs into a lucrative business making pretty coat racks.

Driveways, Paths and Patios

Keep the Lawn and Garden Tidy

Technically my recommendations here won’t break this resolution, but they will help you fulfill it a way that you might not have intended. It may be that you love a serene outdoor environment but the closest you’ve ever come to having a green thumb was the result of a misguided attempt to paint the Silvertips logo on your garage door. If that’s the case, you can design your outdoor space to look tidy while being relatively maintenance-free by exploring other options. Walks, Walls & Patio Floors and Driveways, Paths and Patios will tell you all you need to know about designing an attractive, zero-gardening landscape. If you can’t bear the thought of having a yard that isn’t lovely and green, consider going au naturel with the help of Beautiful No-Mow Yards, by Evelyn J. Hadden. This approach will require you to put in a fair amount of gardening effort at the beginning, but after a while you should have easy sailing.

Swear Less

If you find that your cuss jar is rapidly filling once again, it might be time to let go and embrace the fact that you have a potty mouth and you find swearing amusing. To help you along the way to self-acceptance, I recommend a couple foul-mouthed titles that are designed to make you laugh. The F**king Epic Twitter Quest of @MayorEmanuel tells the sometimes true, sometimes fanciful, and completely inappropriate story of the 2011 mayoral election in Chicago. If they ever made an audio book out of this title, you wouldn’t want to listen to it with the kids around. Speaking of audio books – my other recommendation, Go the F**k to Sleep, by Adam Mansbach and illustrated by Ricardo Cortes, was just narrated by Samuel L. Jackson (the video is on YouTube – I recommend listening with earphones). I’m also happy to report that we carry ¡Duérmete, carajo!, the Spanish-language adaptation of this recent best seller.

Machida Karate-Do

Manage Stress Better

Or just take up a contact sport to help let out your frustrations in a healthy way. I have never been very good at managing the different areas of life that cause me stress, so instead once or twice a week I go play ice hockey. Problem solved. So, if you need to get out some pent-up aggression, but you don’t have the budget to pick up an expensive team sport, consider some alternatives. May I suggest Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Taekwondo, or Mixed Martial Arts?

Step Away from the Internet

If you’re reading this post, you’ve already failed at this resolution. That’s all right, you can still learn to spend your time online doing something more productive. We have many great books on creating and marketing an online business, using social media to make money, and using the internet to help you find a better job. Here are just a handful of titles that can get you started:

Social Networking for Career Success, by Miriam Salpeter
Likeable Social Media, by Dave Kerpen
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Crowdsourcing, by Aliza Sherman
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Social Media Marketing, by Jennifer Abernathy

For those of you who are still sticking to you goals I salute you! Let me take this opportunity to remind you that the library also has books to assist you in leaving the rest of us in your dust. For my fellow magnificent failures out there, happy 2013, and have fun making lemonade out of your lemons.

Lisa

The Fastest Hunk of Junk in the Galaxy

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Nothing is more practical, necessary, and – let’s be honest – downright boring than a repair manual. I don’t mean to belittle the format. The last thing you want is witty dialog or a stunning use of metaphor when you are trying to change a spark plug. But the tedium of trying to always be clear and concise, manual after manual, must weigh on the writers.

Clearly this burden has gotten to the folks who produce the Haynes Repair Manual series. Tucked away amid the usual Ford Escort and Chevrolet Nova guides, are some truly odd and fantastical Haynes repair manuals that have come out recently.

Haynes Boeing 747Take, for instance, the Boeing 747 : 1970 Onwards (All Marks) Owner’s Workshop Manual. If you just happen to own a Boeing 747, a 350 million dollar investment (and that’s without the engines), this is the manual for you. Actually since the book is only 168 pages I’m guessing you might need a little more information, not to mention a grounds crew, to fly and maintain the aircraft. Still it is a fun read and packed with useful facts: who would have guessed that an oil change is rarely, if ever, needed?

Haynes U.S.S. EnterpriseThe jump from the improbable to the impossible begins with the U.S.S. Enterprise NX-01, NCC-1701, NCC-1701-A to NCC-1701-E : Owner’s Workshop Manual. Starting in the model year 2151 this manual examines (in a level of detail only the lovingly obsessed possess) the history, major technologies and functions of every starship with the name of Enterprise. If you are curious about warp propulsion, holodecks, photon torpedoes, and deflector shields, this manual will not disappoint. The section on How Transporters Work, complete with a second by second operational timeline, is not to be missed.

I must admit, it was a kick to see how the authors put together all of the various television series and movies into one cohesive narrative based on a fictional ship. The manual shows no evidence of the internecine conflict that can happen between the different series’ admirers. It just depicts a united Federation going where no man/one has gone before. If all this goodwill isn’t to your liking, then definitely check out the Klingon Bird-of-Prey : I.K.S. Rotarran (b’rel-class), Owner’s Workshop Manual.

Haynes Millennium FalconSpeaking of rivals, that other great science fiction universe has a manual as well. Yes it’s the Millennium Falcon Modified YT-1300 Corellian Freighter: Owner’s Workshop Manual. As I’m sure you know from your Star Wars viewing, the Millennium Falcon is in constant need of repair so a manual makes perfect sense. Learning how to fix, temporarily, that pesky hyperdirve and how to successfully navigate an asteroid field (the odds of which are approximately 3,720 to 1) are just a few of the helpful skills you will learn. You will also find out about the famous pilots of the Falcon including Lando Calrissian, Chewbacca and of course Han, I shot first, Solo.

Being of a more Imperial nature, I hope the rumors are true that an Owner’s Workshop Manual for the Death Star is in the works. Until then I will have to content myself with the current petition to the United States government to build a Death Star by 2016. Having achieved 25,000 signatures it meets the rules for an official Presidential response. I’m hoping that James Earl Jones will deliver the decision.

Richard

Timber!

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With the Thanksgiving meal just barely digested, many peoples’ thoughts turn to the mega holiday of Christmas. Some battle the hordes on Black Friday to try to find a deal. Others brave the rain and wind to get the holiday lights display put up on their house. In my family though, the day after Thanksgiving means one thing: getting a Christmas tree.

I know there are those who prefer the practicality of a plastic tree. Still others are satisfied with a real tree bought at a lot. For us it is has to be a tree that we chop down, precariously strap onto the roof of the car, and then try to set up, hopefully at not too crooked an angle, in the living room. We do, however, go to tree farms as opposed to the true hardcore tree fanciers who go out into the forest, with a permit of course, to bag their tree.

If you keep some of the same traditions, here are a few titles to help you on your quest.

Of course, tree selection is key:
Northwest Conifers: A Photographic Key by Dale Bever
Timber Press Pocket Guide to Conifers by Richard Bitner

But definitely not:
Forest Giants of the Pacific Coast by Robert Van Pelt

When faced with cutting down your selection, why not try:
Practical Outdoor Survival by Len McDougall
Basic Illustrated Camping by Cliff Jacobson
Big Timber, Big Men by Carol Lind

And finally, when it comes to strapping the tree on the roof of your car:
Geometry Success in 20 Minutes a Day
Knots for the Outdoors by Cliff Jacobson

If all goes well, a big if I know, you should have a tree in your home in no time. One Christmas task finished, 99 more to go.

Richard

The Manly Arts

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So what actions make a man a man? As a member of that gender, well into my 40s, I can tell you one thing: I haven’t got a clue. Of course, I am probably not the guy you want to ask. In my youth I can remember imploring my father to let me wear my Darth Vader helmet to the Brewers game to avoid damage from foul balls. John Wayne I am not.

Others, however, are more confident in their definitions. So much so that they have not only compiled lists of manly actions, but they even tell you the correct way to perform them.

If you want your masculinity defined in a mist of generational nostalgia, then How to Build a Fire and Other Handy Things Your Grandfather Knew by Erin Bried is the book for you. The traditional activities are all here (How to Mow a Lawn, How to Hang Drywall) but the book also veers off into Oprah territory. How to Kindle Romance, “Set the mood according to your sweetie’s taste,” and How to Find Self-Confidence, “Be your own best friend,” sound decidedly ungrandfatherly to my ear.

More straightforward and practical, appropriate for a book put out by Popular Mechanics, is How to Carve a Turkey and 99 Other Skills Every Man Should Know by Chris Peterson. Each task has clear instructions and handy illustrations to guide you through it. Examples include: Splint a Broken Bone, Escape a Burning Building, Kick Start a Motorcycle, and Navigate with a Map and Compass. In a nod to the changing nature of masculine tasks, there is a section on electronics and computers including How to Destroy Your Old Hard Drive.

The best of the bunch though is How to Land an A330 Airbus and Other Vital Skills for the Modern Man by James May.  Mr. May realizes that the whole concept is rather absurd and to prove his point, trots out nine skills that you must master in order to be a man. In addition to being able to fly a commercial airliner in an emergency these skills include:  How to Fight a Duel, How to Invade and Occupy the Isle of Wright and How to Play the First Movement of Beethoven’s Piano Sonata in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 27, No. 2 with No Previous Experience. The warning sticker on the cover tells you exactly what to expect from the advice in this book: Clear, Concise, Untested, Optimistic.

So after all three books I’m still a bit fuzzy on what actions define a man. I have learned, however, that cheap plastic does little to impede the force of a baseball hit by a professional athlete.

Richard

Knitting the Summer Olympics

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Click on photo to enlarge

The 2012 Summer Olympics begin this Friday, July 27th, with the opening ceremony celebration featuring a parade of all the competing nations and the entrance of the Olympic flame, which ignites the cauldron and signals the start of the Games.

Here at the library, in anticipation of the Olympic Games, library staff members and a patron have been knitting Olympic athletes. The dolls are knit from patterns in the book Knitting for Gold by Sue McBride. Stop by the Childrens Room display case to see if your favorite sport is represented in yarn. You’ll find beach volleyball, gymnastics, tennis, swimming, soccer, karate and much more.

If you wish you were in London for the Games but just can’t make it, you can knit your favorite London landmarks with the book Stitch London: 20 Kooky Ways to Knit the City and More by Lauren O’Farrell. You can make your own Big Ben, Tower Bridge or Parliament Telephone Box.

While you’re here be sure to check out other items about the Games:

Great Moments in the Summer Olympics by Matt Christopher and Stephanie Peters.

Swifter, Higher, Stronger : a Photographic History of the Summer Olympics by Sue Macy.

Discover the Summer Olympics with Cecile and Pepo (DVD).

Dream Team : How Michael, Magic, Larry, Charles, and the Greatest Team of all time Conquered the World and Changed the Game of Basketball Forever by Jack McCallum.

The Book of Olympic Lists by David Wallechinsky.

Will it be the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat for team USA? We’ll all be watching.

Kim

World Wide Knit in Public Day

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When you think of a knitter do you picture a gray-haired granny sitting in her rocking chair with a cat in her lap and her  needles clicking? Well, you couldn’t be more wrong and I can prove it. On Saturday, June 9th the Everett Public Library is hosting World Wide Knit In Public Day. The day was started in 2005 as a way for knitters to come together to enjoy each others company and to show the general public that knitting can be a community activity.

This year there are over 1,000 events around the world. Check the World Wide Knit in Public website to see where they’re being held. Participating countries include the U.S., Italy, Canada, Australia, Finland, Denmark, Sweden, Spain, Venezuela, South Africa, Germany, Bulgaria, Croatia and many more.

Joining a knitting group has become a great way to make new friendships with people sharing a common interest. Interestingly, the communal nature of knitting has become a popular theme in books recently.

The Shop On Blossom Street by Debbie Macomber has cancer survivor Lydia Hoffman opening a yarn store in Seattle to begin a new life. She offers a knitting class to improve business and three women join the class for very different reasons. Every week they discover more about each other and form a bond helping each other through the obstacles in their lives. The Blossom Street series has eight books. Each book includes a knitting pattern. The library also has The Best Of Knit Along With Debbie Macomber which includes projects inspired by the novels.

The Friday Night Knitting Club, Knit Two, and Knit The Season by Kate Jacobs spans a seven-year period in the lives of friends who met as regular customers at a yarn shop on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. They help each other recover from a tragedy that occurs in one of their lives. A knitter herself, Julia Roberts will be starring in the movie version of the first novel that is scheduled to come out in 2013.

The Knitting Circle by Ann Hood is about a mother who takes up knitting as a way to fill the empty hours of loneliness while coping with the loss of a child. She joins a knitting circle and is eventually comfortable enough to talk about her grief and find hope in life again.

The Beach Street Knitting Society And Yarn Club and Needles And Pearls by Gil McNeil feature Jo Mackenzie, a newly widowed British mother of two boys who decides to take over her grandmother’s wool shop.

Maggie Sefton writes a knitting mystery series  that begins with Kelly Flynn coming back to Colorado for her aunt’s funeral. She suspects the death wasn’t an accident and with the help of the knitting regulars at her Aunt’s shop, the House Of Lambspun, she sets out to solve the murder.

The seaside knitters mystery series by Sally Goldenbaum begins with Isabel “Izzy” Chambers dumping the corporate life and opening a yarn shop in Sea Harbor, Massachusetts. When there is a murder in the apartment above the shop the Seaside Knitters take on the case.

Knitters come in all ages. Teen Knitting Club  by Jennifer Wenger, Carol Abrams, and Maureen Lasher includes 35 patterns, a guide to selecting yarn and accessories, and advice on starting your own knitting club.

Chicks With Sticks : It’s A Purl Thing and Chicks With Sticks : Knit Two Together by Elizabeth Lenhard are young adult novels available as downloadable audio ebooks. Four teenage girls from different high school cliques become friends after forming a knitting club.

Knitting For Peace by Betty Christiansen includes everything you need to know to start a knitting -for-charity group. Read about 28 charities and knit the patterns for each of them.

June 9th is also the second annual Yarn Bombing Day. Yarn Bombing by Mandy Moore and Leanne Prain is a guidebook to the covert world of textile street art. It’s a fascinating look at an international movement of graffiti knitting.

The Snohomish Knitters Guild (“Home to all fearless knitters in Snohomish County Washington”) is a terrific group to join if you are looking for others to knit with. They have monthly meetings with KnitLab for help with a project, speakers on various topics, and a show and tell of knit projects. The Guild encourages members to find new friends at smaller, less formal knitting groups. They provide the means to find these groups through their website, online newsletter, Facebook and Ravelry Group.

So grab your knitting needles and yarn and come to the library on June 9th. Be sure to stop by the Children’s Room display case to see the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe and Humpty Dumpty scenes made by the Library Knitters.

Kim

How Awkward!

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C’mon, admit it: you live for awkward moments. Maybe not in your own life, sure. But we all know that sometimes others’ social misfortunes can be comedy gold. Here are some books full of cringe-worthy moments of awesome awkwardness.

F in Exams by Richard Benson is quite simply a compilation of horribly wrong answers real students have used on tests. Absurd (the Berlin Wall was created because Germany was competing with China), misinformed (Abraham Lincoln’s greatest achievement was having his face carved out of rock), and just plain wrong (What did Mahatma Ghandi and Genghis Khan have in common? Unusual names).

I have to wonder if these students, after getting back their wrong answers, realized how off-the-wall they sounded and, if so, could they ever face their teacher/professor again? I was feeling pretty smug until I got to the end of the book and read something I’m pretty sure I wrote in Mrs. Votoupal’s Advanced Placement Literature class: How does Romeo’s character develop throughout the play? It doesn’t; it’s just self, self, self all the way through. Sorry, Mrs. V.

Dealbreaker by Dave Horwitz and Marisa Pinson examines just where we all go wrong in our dating lives. The authors call attention to all our dating sins, from talking through movies to flirting with other people. If you’re worried you won’t find any kind words in this tome, however, think again.

Each chapter of Dealbreaker contains a special section called Dealmakers. Dealmakers include such things as making delicious pancakes and having an awesome bed. This book has the dubious honor of being the least awkward in my list, simply by having a few nice things to say. I have high standards, dear reader:

So maybe that’s the moral of this whole thing: hang in there, kittens. We have all these dealbreakers because we’re picky, and we’re picky because we want to believe that the perfect person is out there, waiting to knock down our door and present themselves to us, perfect smile and all (but not before rebuilding our door). It’s this hope that keeps us going, and this secret cockiness that keeps us from settling on someone who’s okay but not a perfect match.

       

Awkward Family Photos by Mike Bender and Doug Chernack is based on the popular blog of the same name. Words can’t easily describe this photo-packed book. Just flipping through the pages I can guarantee you’ll laugh and maybe even relate a little to these ridiculous images. And to play fair, there are awkward photos of the authors at the end. Very similar is Awkward Family Pet Photos by the same authors, featuring people and pets and the awkward joys of animal companionship.

Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People by Amy Sedaris and Paul Dinello has been mentioned before in this blog. But no one really went into detail about the complete and utter awkwardness that practically oozes from the pages. You can actually follow the directions for these projects…but then you would become a walking awkward moment. If you’re not that brave or not that comfortable in your irony, you can at least check out this book and gaze in wonder at all of the hideously awkward photos the authors have painstakingly shot for the sake of their craft.

If, unlike me, you truly cringe at awkwardness and would rather avoid it as much as possible, there are books for you as well. Why not try these titles to proactively battle awkwardness before it can creep up on you.

       

As a Lady Would Say by Sheryl Shade and As a Gentleman Would Say by John Bridges and Bryan Curtis provide “responses to life’s important (and sometimes awkward) situations.”

Miss Manners’ Basic Training: the Right Thing to Say by Judith Martin also covers conversations that can turn nasty and explains how you can “talk, talk back and say ‘no’ without causing offense, and how to apologize when you do anyway.”

Perfect Phrases for Dealing with Difficult Situations at Work by Susan F. Benjamin includes “hundreds of ready-to-use phrases for coming out on top even in the toughest office conditions.”

Damage Control by David Eddie and Pat Lynch shows you “how to tiptoe away from the smoking wreckage of your latest screw-up with a minimum of harm to your reputation.” It’s also packed with embarrassing personal stories from Mr. Eddie’s life and may help him seem less preachy and more relatable.

We’re human. We make mistakes. And sometimes you’ve just got to laugh.

Carol

I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghosts

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What do mummies dance to?

Wrap music.

Why did Dracula go to the doctor?

Because he was coffin.

Find more fun Halloween riddles and answers to questions such as “Why do we wear costumes and trick-or-treat?” or learn the truth about Frankenstein and Dracula in The Halloween Book of Facts & Fun by Wendie Old.

For instructions on how to carve the most unusual pumpkin on your block, you’ll want to consult Extreme Pumpkins and Extreme Pumpkins II by Tom Nardone. The author’s philosophy is that carved Halloween pumpkins should be gross, tasteless, terrifying, and outrageous. If you don’t want to go quite that far, but still want an extraordinary pumpkin try How To Carve Pumpkins For Great Results by Deborah Schneebeli-Morrell, You Can Carve Fantastic Jack-O-Lanterns by Rhonda Massingham Hart, Halloween Pumpkins and Parties by Better Homes and Gardens, or Pumpkin Chic by Mary Caldwell.

Next you’ll need to decorate your house. How to Build Hair-Raising Haunted Houses by Megan Cooley Peterson will help you create the creepiest house in the neighborhood. A front lawn full of lost souls, a flying ghost, and faces in the fog are only a few of the ideas you’ll find to terrify your neighbors. Don’t forget sound effects. From our compact disc collection you’ll want Scary Sounds including 70 haunting sounds and 16 spooky orchestrations, or Casper’s Spookiest Songs and Sounds.

For costume ideas Homemade Halloween has instructions for quick and easy costumes, masks, and face painting. Quick Costumes for Kids by Deborah House contains 30 costumes that require little or no sewing. Patterns for a black cat, a wizard, a scarecrow, and a butterfly are included.

Don’t forget food and indoor decorations. The magazine collection is the place to look for Halloween menu and decorating ideas. The Oct. 2011 issue of Every Day with Rachel Ray has recipes for Tarantula Cookies, Arachnid Ice Cubes, Brain Cupcakes, and Severed Finger Cookies. The Oct. 17, 2011 issue of Family Circle includes a Cemetary Cake using Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies as gravestones and crumbled chocolate cake as dirt. Yum! The Oct. 17, 2011 issue of Woman’s Day has easy Halloween crafts with spiderweb placemats, bat napkin rings, and cat face treat bags.

Maybe you don’t want to try any of these suggestions. You’d rather turn off the lights and pretend you’re not home. That’s O.K. too. It’s the perfect night for a horror film marathon. Your first choice would have to be John Carpenter’s 1978 film Halloween. It stars Jamie Lee Curtis as a teenage babysitter trying to survive a Halloween night of terror. Being stalked by knife-wielding mental patient escapee Michael Myers doesn’t help matters. Other choices to consider are Alien, Poltergeist, The Shining, The Bride of Frankenstein, and Night of the Living Dead.

Who ya gonna call for a movie to watch with the entire family? Ghostbusters! The 1984 sci-fi comedy hit stars Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, and Harold Ramis as parapsychologists who start a ghost catching business. Continue with Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride, or Beetlejuice. The youngest family members will enjoy the classic It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and Nickelodeon’s SpongeBob Squarepants Halloween.

One last tip:  How do you mend a broken jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

Kim

Roll Up Your Sleeves And Grab Your Glue Gun

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Summer has finally arrived bringing more daylight hours, perhaps a staycation from work or maybe the kids are home and driving you crazy. Whatever your situation, it’s a great time to try a new craft project. Make something creative, wacky, silly, and off the wall.

Try origami with a twist. Ductigami: the Art of the Tape by Joe Wilson contains 18 projects to make with duct tape including a waterproof apron, a phone book cover, and several types of beverage holders.

Your grandchildren would love to receive their birthday money in the form of a flower, a frog, or a butterfly. You can learn how with Money Folding and Money Folding 2 by Florence Temko and V’Ann Cornelius. Each book includes step-by-step directions to fold bills into fantastic shapes.

Girligami by Cindy Ng offers modern origami designs such as stiletto heels, an MP3 player, or a laptop computer. The last chapter has ideas of what to do with your finished designs such as making greeting cards, jewelry, magnets, and ornaments.

The Star Wars Craft Book by Bonnie Burton has projects for fans of all ages. Chewbacca tissue box covers, a Jabba the Hutt body pillow, Star Wars action figure wreath, or a Wookiee bird house. Over 40 craft ideas from a galaxy far, far away.

How about making a scarecrow for your garden? Scarecrows: Making Harvest Figures and Other Yard Folks by Felder Rushing shows you how, along with scarecrow lore, superstition and myth. This book contains instructions for more than 20 different scarecrows made of everything from tin cans, paper bags and plates, to broomsticks, and clay pots.

Creative Cardboard: Making Fabulous Furniture, Amazing Accessories & Other Spectacular Stuff by Linda Ragsdale will inspire you to make a wallet, cell phone case, chair, or even a rolltop desk. There are cardboard accessories for every room in your house.

It looks a little messy but Papier-Mache Monsters: Turn Trinkets and Trash into Magnificent Monstrosities by Dan Reeder also looks like a lot of fun. Photo instructions are given for creating scary creatures constructed of clothes hangers, newspaper, and glue. It promises to reveal the secrets for making monster jaws, claws, horns, scales, and even the perfect drool!

For humor along with your crafting, try Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People by comedian and actress Amy Sedaris. It’s an unconventional, no talent required, tongue-in-cheek look at the world of a not so serious crafter featuring hundreds of photos of hand made possibilities.

The piece de resistance for those of us over 40, or for the younger crowd who can only wish they lived during the time of the Sparkling Sputnik, is The Complete Book of Retro Crafts: Collecting Displaying & Making Crafts of the Past by Suzi Millions. By the way, Sputnik is made with a Styrofoam ball, bamboo skewers and glitter glue. There’s also the pantyhose poodle, starburst clock, Christmas record album village, pinecone elf, matchstick picture frame, and the bottlecap man ashtray. Vintage photos and collections are featured throughout the book.

Have you made a zany craft lately? What did you make and where did you get your inspiration?

Kim