Grilled Salmon and DEET

Posted on June 6, 2013 by Lisa

Demonstrating advanced trail food preparation

When my husband and I moved here from Chicago, I thought that I was finally coming into my element. Mountains, ocean – all the things the Midwest couldn’t provide. We had mastered what the flatland could offer us in regards to camping, so we were ready to up our game. For those of you lucky enough to have been born and raised in this lovely region, you know that my attitude was like thinking I was ready to play in the MLB because I batted cleanup in t-ball. Thankfully my husband was more experienced in these matters, and managed to keep up safe, dry, happy, and entertained in the wild. He’s since joined the Mountaineers and has been scrambling on the tops of mountains, while I have contented myself with scrambling eggs at camp and taking photos of mountains from the relative safety of familiar flat land.

Needless to say, I have some learning to do. I think I’m finally over the hump of thinking I’m always on the verge of being eaten by bears. Seeing a bear retreat in horror from my loud approach last weekend helped me realize that they don’t want to deal with me either. Now I’m going through the enjoyable process of checking out the library’s resources on all things outdoors. I know this isn’t a shock, but there is a lot here to get through.

Not surprisingly, my first foray into outdoor ed. was the cooking section. It looks like I may be able to salvage that ill-conceived food dehydrator purchase from the kitchen gadget bone-yard after all. There are a ton of books in this area, so I quickly eliminated anything to do with RV or car camping (we’ve got that down). My favorite was The Scout’s Backpacking Cookbook, by Tim and Christine Conners. This book was packed with useful information about equipment, cooking techniques, meal planning, safety, ‘Leave No Trace’ cooking and camping, and recipes. There were also wonderful appendices that provided measurement advice, additional reading, and helpful websites.

Other picks:

The Trailside Cookbook by Don Philpott

Camp Cooking in the Wild by Mark Scriver

With the food taken care of, choosing a destination was my next priority. When we camp, we choose our destination based on a few different things. Weather is the most obvious determining factor; last weekend we went over the mountains to find the sun. On other trips we’ve selected sites because they were off pleasant drives, or offered a selection of excellent hikes. The Mountaineers Books has a fantastic series of Day Hiking titles that cover different regions of Washington and Oregon. My favorite book that I found about exploring Washignton was the Longstreet Highroad Guide to the Washington Cascades, by Allan May. May created a guide to geography, history (human and natural), and recreation in the Washington Cascades, all wrapped into a very enjoyable read.

Note: Sometimes published info about campgrounds, trails, and roads can be outdated. To be certain that you can actually get to where you’d like to go, call ahead to the ranger station in the area you’re planning to visit to make sure that everything is open.

Last, and certainly not least, I looked into info on safety and preparation. This is perhaps the largest section of outdoor materials we have because there is much to be said on the topic. For a beginner’s overview to all things backpacking, The Smart Guide to Hiking and Backpacking is a good place to start. More advanced advice on trip planning, cooking equipment, and more can be found in The Backpacker’s Field Manual, by Rick Curtis. I found some really helpful illustrations and ‘how to’s’ in Basic Illustrated Wilderness First Aid, but I strongly recommend attending some courses on the topic if you are serious about venturing into remote areas. If not, be sure to trek with someone who has.

Other titles that I found helpful tips in:

Hiking with Dogs by Linda B. Mullally

Ultralight Backpackin’ Tips by Mike Clelland

Making Camp: A Complete Guide for Hikers, Mountain Bikers, Paddlers & Skiers by Steve Howe, et al.

So there you have it – my newbie backpacker reading list. Come in and browse the shelves; there’s a lot more here for those who are more advanced than I am. As for me? I have a date with the food dehydrator – who doesn’t want to try powdered cheese?

Lisa

Celebrate National Poetry Month with a Friendly Competition

Posted on April 1, 2013 by Lisa

Calling all creatives! The Everett Public Library would like to hear you wax poetic about the things we love the most: books, reading, writing, our library, or just libraries in general. Throughout the month of April, aka National Poetry Month, we’ll be asking you to send in your original haiku or limericks with library-related themes. Why haiku and limericks? Because both forms are short and governed by pretty specific rules, so that makes our jobs as judges slightly easier.

If you haven’t had (or wanted) to write poetry since high school, that’s all right – I can help refresh your memory on how it’s done.

Haiku

When writing haiku, poets are restricted to a set number of syllables (or distinct units of sound) in each line. Haiku are made up of three lines: the first line has 5 syllables, the second line has 7, and the third line has 5. These lines do not have to rhyme, and more often than not, they don’t. Just to show you how it’s done, a couple of our librarians gave it a shot:

Turn this page and read—
A new chapter, a new idea.
This book is like Spring.

Reading quietly
Hail pounding on the roof
Glad to be inside

Limericks

For those of you who like a good chuckle, the limerick may be more your style. These short rhyming poems are generally nonsensical, and sometimes a little bit naughty. Because we’re an all-ages establishment, we’re going to ask you to keep your entries family friendly, but we’d still like to see if you can crack our judges up. Here’s the how-to:

Limericks consist of five lines written in what is sometimes referred to as an aabba rhyming scheme, with the punch line of the poem landing on the last line. There is also a distinct skipping pattern that puts emphasis on specific words (many nursery rhymes follow this pattern). Confusing? Thankfully there are some really great teaching tools online that help explain how to write limericks. Also keep in mind that your lines don’t have to follow this pattern exactly; the most important thing is where you place your rhyming words.

The bare bones of a limerick can be broken down into dots and slashes to show where the emphasized words fall (source: Academy of American Poets):

The pattern can be illustrated with dashes denoting weak syllables, and back-slashes for stresses:

1) – / – - / – - /
2) – / – - / – - /
3) – / – - /
4) – / – - /
5) – / – - / – - /

Next you can fill in the dots and slashes with sounds to get a better feel for the rhythm (source: Poetry4kids.com):

da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

Finally you get to the fun part. Think of a topic or sets of rhyming words you want to use and see how you can fit them into the framework. To illustrate the aabba rhyming scheme I mentioned earlier, check out how I label my lines. Rhyming words fall at the end of each line, with all (A) lines rhyming with each other, and all (B) lines rhyming with each other.

There once was a trickster librarian (A)
Who delighted in being contrarian (A)
You’d ask for a book (B)
She’d give you a cook (B)
And suddenly you’re eating vegetarian (A)

Please, hold your groans – I never claimed to be a pro! Hopefully you get the point because now I’m asking you to give it a try.

The Competition!

To enter our competition, email your entries to me at llabovitch@everettwa.gov. There is no limit to the number of entries that you can submit. The deadline for submission is April 26th at noon. From there our judges will select their favorites and allow you all to vote for your top pick. The winner of the competition will get to see their poem printed in our newsletter, featured on our electronic sign outside, announced on the A Reading Life blog, and will have the awe and respect of the rest of us poetry novices. For more inspiration and examples, click on some of the book covers in this post to check out some books on poetry. Happy writing!

Lisa

Voices in Your Head

Posted on March 20, 2013 by Richard

Not to cast aspersions on your sanity, dear reader, but in all likelihood you often hear a voice in your head. I’m not talking about a sinister whisper suggesting unspeakable acts, like eating that jelly-filled donut or calling in sick to watch every cut of Blade Runner back-to-back. No, I’m thinking of the voice you hear when you read a book. The words are on the page, but you have to provide the inflection, tone and, occasionally, sound effects.

When you listen to an audiobook, however, all of that narration is provided for you. And therein lies the rub. No matter how good a book is, if you can’t stand the narrator’s voice or presentation, the experience is not going to be a pleasant one. In order to avoid bad narrators, one of the rules I’ve learned is to always be wary of audiobooks that are read by the author. Good writing doesn’t always translate into good narration alas.

There is one case, though, when you absolutely want the writer to be the narrator: comedic books. To prove my point here are a few titles where it is essential that the author reads his or her work. In fact, even if you have read the book already, you might want to check out the audio version for an enhanced “reading” experience.

America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren’t by Stephen Colbert
This irony drenched reaffirmation, or is that affirmation, of all things America is best heard rather than read. The material is tailor-made for the author and he deftly delivers. If you were to read the book you would just insert the star of the Colbert Report’s voice anyway so why not give it a listen? Enjoy all the truthiness.

Bossypants by Tina Fey
While this book is technically a memoir, it reads, or listens as the case may be, like a series of comic vignettes from Fey’s life. Her delivery while telling these stories is spot on and her many impersonations are all here including, of course, Sarah Palin. Also included are plenty of anecdotes from her Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock days for TV fans and those just wanting to know what working with Alec Baldwin is like.

I Drink for a Reason by David Cross
First of all, great title. Secondly this is a great series of riffs on a myriad of topics that enter David Cross’ wonderfully deviant brain starting with his observations on seeing the bumper sticker “Don’t Abandon Your Baby.” Cross proves the point of this blog piece by having another narrator attempt to start reading the book and failing miserably. Clearly you need Cross’ narration to get the full impact of the material, though I must admit it was hard not to imagine Tobias Fünke while listening.

When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
I just chose one representative title, maybe because of the gruesome cover art, but any of Sedaris’ audiobooks are excellent. Don’t get me wrong, he is a great writer, but once you have heard him read his material you will demand to listen to his books from then on. Luckily we have a great selection of his work on audio from which to choose, so you can get your fix.

God, No! by Penn Jillette
What fun would it be to simply read a rant by Penn Jillette? You need to hear the slow buildup in his voice and then the eventual thundering denunciation of one hypocrisy after another. The topic here is religion, or lack thereof, so be prepared to be offended. But really, what else would you expect from one half of Penn & Teller, a duo dedicated to demystifying and debunking everyone’s sacred cows in a raucous way?

So there you have it. Just a few examples to whet your appetite. Now go out there and listen!

Richard

Beauty Queens and Other Aberrations of Nature

Posted on March 4, 2013 by Ron

Ever since a brilliant, beautiful friend of mine entered a small-time city beauty pageant and lost to the mayor’s granddaughter (whose talent was disco roller skating), I’ve not held these contests in the highest regard. But actually, my disdain started much earlier in life. One of the first grown-up movies I remember watching as a kid is Smile, a biting satire of pageants and middle-class American society. Teenagers compete for the Young American Miss crown while running the gauntlet of an overprotective chaperone (a former Young American Miss crown-holder herself), a sleazy, dimwitted emcee and a temperamental choreographer. The pinnacle of the film is the pageant itself, highlighted by a participant demonstrating how to efficiently pack a suitcase. Amongst the contestants are very young versions of Melanie Griffith and Annette O’Toole.

But this was just to be the beginning of my complicated relationship with beauty and its contests.

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray
This hilarious book opens with a plane full of teenage beauty pageant contestants crashing near a small, apparently deserted island. The crew members, as well as many of the competitors, die in the crash, and those who survive must figure out how to make like Gilligan. All this death and suffering makes for a knee-slapping premise in the hands of Libba Bray. At first the surviving contestants are little more than stereotypes, albeit not simplistic pageant queens (well, except for Miss Mississippi and Miss Alabama who are impossible to tell apart). Each young lady has special knowledge and talents that come in handy and Miss Texas, well, she’s just a natural born dicta…, um, leader. The story is occasionally interrupted by pageant entry forms, commercials for the pageant’s sponsors, and other humorous asides. As time passes we meet faux pirates who star in a reality TV show, a foreign leader patterned after Chairman Mao, and bad bad government men. Adventures and merriment abound, and throughout it all Miss Texas makes sure that the young women practice their pageant routines daily.

Little Miss Sunshine
Although a beauty contest does play a central role in this comedy, it’s a family’s quirkiness that’s the focus of the story. Olive is a seven-year-old pageant-hopeful surrounded by a remarkable cast of characters: an overworked mother, unsuccessful father, suicidal uncle, mute-by-choice brother, and heroin-using grandfather. In the midst of everyone’s issues, Olive dreams of winning the Little Miss Sunshine contest in faraway California. So the entire clan climbs into their trusty VW bus and begins an 800-mile journey. Hilarity ensues, misfortune is overcome, and the family arrives at the last minute to discover a gaggle of skinny, tan, and overtly sexual little girls. Olive, in contrast, is plain and somewhat chunky. The family tries to talk her into withdrawing from the contest to avoid embarrassment, but in a lovely show of support Olive’s mom decides that Olive should just be herself and compete. Humor, drama, pathos, angst, and merriment combine for a unique movie-viewing experience.

There’s a (slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell: a novel of Sewer Pipes, Pageant Queens, and Big Trouble by Laurie Notaro

Laurie Notaro is a hilarious woman. In her first novel we find Maye Roberts moving to a small university town in Washington where her husband has landed a tenure-track job. She leaves her job and friends in Phoenix and moves to Spaulding, a clique-ish place where it’s difficult to make friends. The town originally was famous as the world’s largest producer of sewer pipes, but a devastating fire put an end to this claim and Spaulding is now known for its prestigious university. A final remaining vestige of the town’s plumbing heritage is the annual Sewer Pipe Queen pageant, a remnant of the Spaulding Festival which featured sewer pipe oriented contests. It is suggested to Maye that she compete for this title, which is a guaranteed gateway to instant popularity, and she decides to follow this advice. While this is not a book about a beauty contest per se, it is an amusing look at the challenges of fitting in.

Drop Dead Gorgeous
Perhaps my favorite pageant movie, Drop Dead Gorgeous, is a mockumentary about the Sara Rose Princess America Pageant in small-town Minnesota. As the contestants begin to expire spectacularly one-by-one under suspicious circumstances (exploding tractors and what-not) the remaining contenders soldier on in fear and trepidation. The talented cast, which includes Kirstie Alley, Kirsten Dunst, Ellen Barkin and Denise Richards, lends an aura of authenticity to the proceedings. Who will win the crown, and more importantly, who will survive?

Ron

Fail Magnificently

Posted on January 18, 2013 by Lisa

Here we are, firmly wedged into the month of January. The magical glow of New Year’s Eve and memories of our ambitious resolutions have already started to fade. While some just might make this the year that they actually stick to their three-times-a-week gym pledges, others may be looking for a way to gracefully bow out of their publicly-announced best intentions. Thankfully, the Everett Public Library is here not only to support us in our triumphs, but also to help us get through our moments of weakness. So, if you want to kill your resolutions softly by making the best of your surrender, I have a list of books for you.

Here are my recommendations for failing magnificently at some of the more common New Year’s resolutions.

Eat Healthier and Lose Weight

This is the granddaddy of them all. Who hasn’t sworn, after a long night of New Year’s Eve snacking, that it was time to get the potbelly situation under control? Perhaps you’ve spent the last couple weeks faithfully logging calories and exercise on your new My Fitness Pal app, but today you find yourself caring less than usual. Before you hop in the car after work, blow by the YMCA, and hit the drive through, consider picking up one of the following books to help you break your resolution with a bit more class.

The Pastry Chef’s Apprentice, by Mitch Stamm, provides a really accessible introduction to creating delicious pastries in your home kitchen. Stamm includes a lot of what I like to call ‘action shots’ of what dishes should look like during crucial stages of each recipe. If you’re as lousy of a baker as I am, you know how valuable it is to actually see what the recipe means when it tells you to mix the dough to a certain consistency.

If you prefer savory over sweet, Warren R. Anderson’s Mastering the Craft of Making Sausage may be up your alley. The first half of this book is a richly-illustrated discussion of different methods of making and smoking sausages; the second is a collection of great recipes to try your hand at.

Other sweet and savory honorable mentions to consider:
Chocolate, from Practical Cookery
The Butcher’s Guide to Well-Raised Meat, by Joshua and Jessica Applestone

Who knows? Perhaps making your own guilty pleasures from scratch might burn some calories in the process and ensure that you’re using healthier ingredients.

Drink Less

This one generally goes the way of weight loss pledges, so in order to help you fail in the same spirit, I suggest the alternative of taking up home brewing, wine making,or distilling. You may find that in the end you’ll opt for quality over quantity because you’ll come to prefer the fruits of your own labor to a couple of Sessions. For the beer drinkers, I recommend checking out The Complete Joy of Home Brewing and The Brewers Apprentice. If wine is more your thing, you can try The Home Winemaker’s Companion. For those of you who secretly harbor dreams of bootlegging and rum-running, you can try your hand at hooch with Making Pure Corn Whiskey. Please remember to brew, stomp, and moonshine responsibly.

Spend More Quality Time with the Kids

Dads of the world, my apologies, because it looks like the fun books for breaking this resolution are more geared towards the ladies. A quick stroll through our travel books turned up these gems:

Fly Solo: the 50 Best Places on Earth for a Girl to Travel Alone, by Teresa Rodriguez Williamson
Best Girlfriends Getaways Worldwide, by Marybeth Bond
Solo Traveler: Tales and Tips for Great Trips, by Lea Lane

Get Rid of that Old Junk in the Garage

But isn’t one man’s trash another man’s treasure? Are you really going to let that other man steal your carefully horded booty? Absolutely not! American Junk and This Old House Salvage-Style Projects may give you the inspiration you need to turn mom’s odd obsession with fancy antique doorknobs into a lucrative business making pretty coat racks.

Keep the Lawn and Garden Tidy

Technically my recommendations here won’t break this resolution, but they will help you fulfill it a way that you might not have intended. It may be that you love a serene outdoor environment but the closest you’ve ever come to having a green thumb was the result of a misguided attempt to paint the Silvertips logo on your garage door. If that’s the case, you can design your outdoor space to look tidy while being relatively maintenance-free by exploring other options. Walks, Walls & Patio Floors and Driveways, Paths and Patios will tell you all you need to know about designing an attractive, zero-gardening landscape. If you can’t bear the thought of having a yard that isn’t lovely and green, consider going au naturel with the help of Beautiful No-Mow Yards, by Evelyn J. Hadden. This approach will require you to put in a fair amount of gardening effort at the beginning, but after a while you should have easy sailing.

Swear Less

If you find that your cuss jar is rapidly filling once again, it might be time to let go and embrace the fact that you have a potty mouth and you find swearing amusing. To help you along the way to self-acceptance, I recommend a couple foul-mouthed titles that are designed to make you laugh. The F**king Epic Twitter Quest of @MayorEmanuel tells the sometimes true, sometimes fanciful, and completely inappropriate story of the 2011 mayoral election in Chicago. If they ever made an audio book out of this title, you wouldn’t want to listen to it with the kids around. Speaking of audio books – my other recommendation, Go the F**k to Sleep, by Adam Mansbach and illustrated by Ricardo Cortes, was just narrated by Samuel L. Jackson (the video is on YouTube – I recommend listening with earphones). I’m also happy to report that we carry ¡Duérmete, carajo!, the Spanish-language adaptation of this recent best seller.

Manage Stress Better

Or just take up a contact sport to help let out your frustrations in a healthy way. I have never been very good at managing the different areas of life that cause me stress, so instead once or twice a week I go play ice hockey. Problem solved. So, if you need to get out some pent-up aggression, but you don’t have the budget to pick up an expensive team sport, consider some alternatives. May I suggest Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Taekwondo, or Mixed Martial Arts?

Step Away from the Internet

If you’re reading this post, you’ve already failed at this resolution. That’s all right, you can still learn to spend your time online doing something more productive. We have many great books on creating and marketing an online business, using social media to make money, and using the internet to help you find a better job. Here are just a handful of titles that can get you started:

Social Networking for Career Success, by Miriam Salpeter
Likeable Social Media, by Dave Kerpen
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Crowdsourcing, by Aliza Sherman
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Social Media Marketing, by Jennifer Abernathy

For those of you who are still sticking to you goals I salute you! Let me take this opportunity to remind you that the library also has books to assist you in leaving the rest of us in your dust. For my fellow magnificent failures out there, happy 2013, and have fun making lemonade out of your lemons.

Lisa

All I Want for Christmas is My Sense of Humor

Posted on December 14, 2012 by Carol

Tis the season for crazy sweaters, spiked eggnog, and blackmail photos. If you’re following the library on Facebook you’ll know we’re not above poking fun at ourselves around the holidays.

Crazy Sweaters

But if you’re like me, this time of year is so crazy-busy you really try to find the humor in whatever new holiday-related predicament you find yourself in. Let me lead you through my holiday routine and you’ll see why I believe there’s no place like the library for the holidays.

When my waistline is somewhat back to normal post-Thanksgiving and my calendar is now screaming DECEMBER at me, I will usually gather up my husband and our cats and attempt to pose us into some semblance of order. We aim for cute. What we usually end up with are semi-strangled pets and harried looking adults grimacing in what is sure to be the 30^th attempt, one that will “have to do” because no one wants to do this anymore. The Awkward Family Photo books have similar photos to show you what I’m dealing with on an annual basis.

Once the photo has been taken, it’s off to get the prints made. Usually I can send the photo over the Internet to be printed at my local pharmacy. But if you’re unlucky enough to need to wade through the hordes of holiday bargain-hunters and actually set up your photo card in person, you will be sure to find some truly bizarre individuals completely oblivious to social norms. The People of Wal-Mart books have just a few samplings of folks who haven’t paid any attention to their attire—or in some cases paid entirely too much attention to what they’re wearing, to a horrifying degree.

If you have children, or feel like a child yourself, the next stop will probably be the North Pole, aka your local mall Santa. These days you can even take your pets to visit Santa, though I suspect my cats would be truly horrified should we ever attempt that with them. While there you may find yourself face-to-face with what can only be called a Sketchy Santa.

Who’s that excessively jolly fellow with the fake beard, shifty eyes, sweaty hands, and boozy breath? Why, it’s not just Santa but sketchy Santa!

crap at my parents house

Eventually we will arrive at the big day: holiday celebrations with the family! I was lucky to have grown up celebrating Christmas Day at my Grandma’s house, a home which was tastefully decorated and yet still inviting for the sticky-fingered, running, screaming grandkids. However, occasionally I would visit friends’ houses during Christmastime and inevitably stumble across something that could have come straight out of Crap at my Parents’ House: creepy ceramics, giant Santa figures that could easily be mistaken for a Sketchy Santa, and hundreds of Precious Moments dolls crammed into one tiny hutch.

After the holidays come to an end, there’s always something else to look forward to. Yes, there will be another holiday season to anticipate next year. But really I’m talking about the time when that gift you loved getting is inevitably ruined by someone you love and thought you could trust. Sh*t My Kids Ruined features some prime examples. Toys shoved in the VCR, diplomas graffitied with ink pens, and countless pets massacred with everything from condiments to vomit are sure to leave you clutching your loved ones close but your prized possessions closer.

This holiday season, I am fortunate to be able to travel back home to Illinois, where my story began. Spending so much time with my family I can guarantee I will laugh, I will cry, and I will be thankful for the life I have and for the possessions that haven’t yet been destroyed.

Carol

Unfinished Books and Other Natterings

Posted on December 12, 2012 by Ron

Reasons why one might not finish a book:

It’s poorly written
Title includes words “shades of”
Not in the mood for it
Voices in my head keep arguing over subtext
Story is not interesting
Nocturnal proclivities leave little time for legal endeavors

Lately as I find my reading habits changing, i.e. I read a palette of books simultaneously rather than a single title at a time, I find myself not finishing more books than ever. I used to abide by an unwritten code that once a book was started it would be finished, no matter how horrid it be. Now I subscribe to the pasta-cooking-method of book choice: Throw a bunch against the wall and see what sticks.

So today I will present some books that I started but did not finish, as well as the reason(s) behind this lack of follow-through. Since my goal in general is to get people excited about reading, not to write scathing reviews that lead to paper-related nightmares (or electron-related for the more tech-savvy), I approach this task more as an exercise in why we stop reading certain books, not as a critique of the titles discussed. And, if you the reader have enjoyed one of these stories, I encourage you to prove me wrong and to publicly humiliate me.

It won’t be the first time.

Super Sad True Love Story by Gary Shteyngart
This is a book that I actually enjoyed quite a bit, the only strike against it being its depressive atmosphere. The main character is a bit of a loser, has trouble with relationships, and the America he lives in is scary in a just-a-small-sideways-step-from-our-current-country way. I have to be in just the right mood for gloomy, and at the time I was reading this book I was not. Someday I do plan on finishing this title and I would recommend it to others.

The Great Typo Hunt: Two Friends Changing the World, One Correction at a Time by Jeff Deck
I had high hopes for this title. The premise, one that I’m finding in an increasing number of books, is that a young man graduates from college, realizes that he has no employable skills, and so decides to have an adventure and write a book about it. His quest: traversing the United States looking for typos in signs, menus, etc., and confronting those responsible in an attempt to correct the typos. Having a soft spot for humorous travel books, I thought this would be right in my reading wheelhouse. Unfortunately, I found that the premise wore thin quickly, the author often avoided confrontation (thereby losing opportunities for humor), and thus the book failed for me.

And Another Thing… by Eoin Colfer
As I write this I realize that I treat the sanctity of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker trilogy as some treat the veracity of the Bible: One simply doesn’t mess with it. To take this ridiculous analogy farther (or further), God would not ask, for example, an atheist (let’s call him Ned) to write The Book of Ned, Newest Book in the Bible! Now I don’t mean to pick on Mr. Colfer; I’ve never read any of his other works. But to attempt an addition to Adams’ series, one must have an enormous wit, one that at least rivals that of Adams. Here Colfer falls flat with humor that seems quite forced and not so clever. Having said that, this book probably stood no chance with me as I view it as an effrontery to all that is good and moral (don’t mess with my canon!).

So overall we’re left with a good book that I read at the wrong time, a disappointing book that didn’t live up to its expectations, and an abomination that should not have seen the light of day (again, apologies to Mr. Colfer; this is just my psychotic prattling). If you enjoyed any of these titles, defend them! Convince other readers that these tomes are worth their precious time.

As a final point of moralizing and sermonizing, this is one of the beauties of libraries: one can check out books for no cost, books that one would never dream of purchasing, and see if redeeming qualities exist within their pages. Or, on the other side of the coin, find some good talking points to scathingly rip apart the latest Paris Hilton of literature.

And please, whatever you do, keep reading, stretch yourself, seek out books you might not like. Then write about them in your own blog.

Ron

Best of 2012: Genre Fiction Favorites

Posted on December 3, 2012 by everettpubliclibrary

As we draw close to the end of the year, it is time to take stock of all that has happened in 2012. Some may evaluate personal goals, others the political and cultural ramifications of events. Here at the library we like to talk about all the great things we have read and viewed in 2012.

There are lots of “best of” lists at this time of year, but ours is compiled by a dedicated staff who come across thousands of titles in any given year and know how to separate the wheat from the chaff. Our list is long, but we have divided it up into five sections which we will publish every day this week. So come take a personalized tour of the best and brightest fiction and film of 2012. First up: Genre Fiction

Crime Novels and Mysteries

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Nick and Amy’s marriage is boiling over with repressed anger, fear and manipulation. When Amy suddenly disappears, Nick’s life is torn by the suspicions of his family and the police. But Amy left behind a diary. Is it filled with fabrications or facts?… A masterpiece of psychological fiction, this novel plunges deep into each character’s dark side. As you are caught up in the sharp suspense, this novel also reveals deep truths about human emotions and relationships. –Esta

The Woman Who Died a Lot : a Thursday Next Novel : Now with 50% Added Subplot by Jasper Fford
Thursday Next is back. No longer physically capable of being a field agent, she is appointed head of the Swindon library, a much more dangerous job than one might think. Fforde has created a universe that is just slightly different from ours in quirky ways (i.e., cheese smuggling is a crime). I was sold when she was shown the red button to push in case of emergency, which would summon Nancy (Pearl) from Seattle. –Ron

A Foreign Country by Charles Cumming
Disgraced British agent, Thomas Kell, is brought back into service when the woman scheduled to be the new head of MI6 disappears. Has she defected? Has she been abducted? Kell needs to find out fast. A thriller for those who appreciate good spy craft. Suspense with lots of twists and turns. –Marge

Broken Harbor by Tana French
French’s latest mystery is set in a bleak, half-finished housing development on the cold Irish coast. A family is found murdered and the mother, the only survivor, unable or unwilling to talk. Its compelling setting and strongly drawn characters combine with a plot that’s almost gothic, making for a book that’s hard to put down. –Eileen

Psychological Fiction

In One Person by John Irving
Billy Abbott struggles with his bisexual impulses and bravely searches out experiences and people who will help define his identity. These memorable characters dare to step outside gender and social roles, and make us redefine what is masculine and feminine. A daring and honest novel that confronts how ’we are formed by what we desire. –Esta

The Beginner’s Goodbye by Anne Tyler
Aaron Woolcott’s wife dies in a freak accident, and this novel follows Tyler’s formula of presenting a sad-sack fellow who is vaguely aware that his youthful dreams have eluded him. This is domestic fiction with some supernatural elements and the author’s cleverly casual expression of the ordinary. –Gloria

Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult
After their father, a famous wolf researcher, is left comatose during an accident, siblings Edward and Kara Warren disagree about whether or not to terminate his life. I loved the research about wolf and pack behavior and how a human may have been a part of it. –Gloria

The Map and the Territory by Michel Houellebecq
The artistic process, art world excesses, failed human relationships, and the resilience of the natural world are just some of the themes in this idea-rich page-turner that is part art world exposé, part visceral thriller. Audacious and brutally honest. –Scott

One Last Thing Before I Go by Jonathan Tropper
Middle-aged divorced dad Silver is dying, his estranged teenage daughter is pregnant, and his sudden clarity of insight (and stroke) bring them together. But will they save each other? Funny, insightful, edgy, and unpretentiously smart writing. –Alan

Domestic Fiction

Arcadia by Lauren Groff
The story of the struggles and joys of a hippie commune in the countryside of upstate New York in the 1960′s, told from the point of view of Bit–the first child born who grows to manhood embraced by this alternative lifestyle. With a circus of colorful characters, this novel brilliantly recreates the playful and reckless energy of the 60′s. From the charismatic leader to the youngest child, we can see the sweet irony of how people who seemingly are fools can be visionary as well. –Esta

The Red Book by Deborah Copaken Kogan
Four women in Harvard’s class of ‘89 gather for a 20^th-year reunion with some serious soul searching. All four of the women have lied in their stories to each other and have to unravel those lies before they can become whole. Plus I graduated college in 1989 and wondered what a class reunion would be like. –Gloria

Hope: A Tragedy by Shalom Auslander
Kugel’s just moved to an upstate country house, but his nasty tenant, impatient wife, fake Holocaust survivor mom, and the discovery of Anne Frank in his attic combine to ignite the proceedings. Very funny, very smart writing, everything that This American Life featurist writes is solid. –Alan

Humorous Fiction

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry: a Novel by Rachel Joyce
Harold Fry is convinced that he must deliver a letter to an old love in order to save her, meeting various characters along the way and reminiscing about the events of his past and people he has known, as he tries to find peace and acceptance.
I just walked over 100 miles in England, and really understood the struggles Harold felt just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other. –Julie
The story unfolds fluidly and achieves a familiarity that had me rooting for Harold and walking with him. –Liz

Libriomancer by Jim C. Hines
Vampires are killing Porters, members of a secret society who protect humankind, and who can pull objects out of books. Isaac Vainio, librarian and failed field agent, is charged with saving humankind. A world where people can reach into the page of a book and pull out an item from that page is fascinating. Isaac wears a trench coat filled with books from which he pulls fantastical weapons with which to defend himself from vampires and their kind. –Ron

Panorama City by Antoine Wilson
A pitch-perfect story about “slow absorber” Oppen Porter who lies in a hospital bed and records on audio cassette the events and lessons of his life for his unborn son. Jerzy Kosinski’s Being There crossed with Nicholson Baker’s The Mezzanine. A terrific blend of characters, style and story. –Scott

For a full list of all the 2012 staff picks, click here.

What’s on Ron’s Bookshelf?

Posted on November 15, 2012 by Ron

Today we answer that age-old question, “What’s on Ron’s Bookshelf?” Some people take too much food at a meal because their eyes are bigger than their stomach. I check out far more books than I can actually read because I want to look important and smart.

Rather than tell you about each of the books, I will tell you why they ended up on my bookshelf. If you’re interested in further details click on a link to go to the library’s catalog, which is chalk full of information about each title.

So, without further ado, here’s what’s on Ron’s bookshelf.

The Iron Wyrm Affair by Lilith Saintcrow
I enjoyed Saintcrow’s series about Jill Kismet, exorcist and demon slayer, not a read that would typically interest me. If Saintcrow can engage me in a topic I don’t care about, then The Iron Wyrm Affair, a novel of Victorian steampunk, should be a shoo-in.

The Map of Time by Felix J. Palma
A review of The Map of the Sky by the same author made reference to this first book in the series. Upon further investigation I discovered a mix of time travel, H. G. Wells and Jack the Ripper, and seriously, what more can a fellow ask for?

Scorch by Gina Damico
A glowing review lead me to Croak, the first book in this trilogy (Scorch is second) about grim reapers, their jobs and living conditions. Funny and touching, exciting and poignant. Hoping for more of the same in this follow-up.

Five Novels of the 1940s & 50s by David Goodis
Recently I’ve developed a strong interest in pulp and noir. Goodis is an author I’d not heard of before and I ran across him in research. The stories in this collection are reputed to be superior examples of the genre.

The Doomsday Vault by Steven Harper
Victorian England, a plague, zombies, clockwork automatons, pirates…

Guys & Dolls: The Stories of Damon Runyon by Damon Runyon
No one else uses language or creates a bygone time like Runyon. It is a delight to experience his prose, characters and unforgettable stories.

So You Created a Wormhole: A Time Traveler’s Guide to Time Travel by Phil Hornshaw
This humorous look at the science behind time travel theory provides heady knowledge as well as entertainment. And gossip about Einstein.

False Negative by Joseph Koenig
Recently the Hard Case Crime series has re-released older pulp/noir classics as well as new or unpublished stories. The recently-penned False Negative is the first book by this critically acclaimed author in 20 years.

Death Warmed Over: Dan Shamble, Zombie P.I. by Kevin J. Anderson
This is a book I found whilst browsing. Why did I choose it? Three words: Zombie. P. I.

How to Sharpen Pencils by David Rees
I encountered this book in a review and its quirky humor appealed to me. Little did I know that it is perhaps the funniest book in existence. The dry text takes an exhaustive and authoritative look at the artisanal craft of pencil sharpening. You will never need another book on the subject.

The Diviners by Libba Bray
I recently finished Beauty Queens by Libba Bray, a humorous look at beauty pageants, and it was one of the more entertaining books I’ve read in some time. The Diviners looks like an entirely different beast, focusing on occult-based murders in 1926.

The Janus Affair by Pip Ballantine
Ballantine’s first book, Phoenix Rising, was one of my favorite’s of 2011. It’s a rip-roaring, dynamite ‘splodin’, secret agent whirlwind set in a steampunk Victorian England. I have eagerly awaited the sequel.

So now you know what’s on my bookshelf. Feel free to share your own bookshelf denizens with me. Perhaps we can get together to discuss some titles once I’m done building my time machine.

Ron

The Manly Arts

Posted on October 8, 2012 by Richard

So what actions make a man a man? As a member of that gender, well into my 40s, I can tell you one thing: I haven’t got a clue. Of course, I am probably not the guy you want to ask. In my youth I can remember imploring my father to let me wear my Darth Vader helmet to the Brewers game to avoid damage from foul balls. John Wayne I am not.

Others, however, are more confident in their definitions. So much so that they have not only compiled lists of manly actions, but they even tell you the correct way to perform them.

If you want your masculinity defined in a mist of generational nostalgia, then How to Build a Fire and Other Handy Things Your Grandfather Knew by Erin Bried is the book for you. The traditional activities are all here (How to Mow a Lawn, How to Hang Drywall) but the book also veers off into Oprah territory. How to Kindle Romance, “Set the mood according to your sweetie’s taste,” and How to Find Self-Confidence, “Be your own best friend,” sound decidedly ungrandfatherly to my ear.

More straightforward and practical, appropriate for a book put out by Popular Mechanics, is How to Carve a Turkey and 99 Other Skills Every Man Should Know by Chris Peterson. Each task has clear instructions and handy illustrations to guide you through it. Examples include: Splint a Broken Bone, Escape a Burning Building, Kick Start a Motorcycle, and Navigate with a Map and Compass. In a nod to the changing nature of masculine tasks, there is a section on electronics and computers including How to Destroy Your Old Hard Drive.

The best of the bunch though is How to Land an A330 Airbus and Other Vital Skills for the Modern Man by James May. Mr. May realizes that the whole concept is rather absurd and to prove his point, trots out nine skills that you must master in order to be a man. In addition to being able to fly a commercial airliner in an emergency these skills include: How to Fight a Duel, How to Invade and Occupy the Isle of Wright and How to Play the First Movement of Beethoven’s Piano Sonata in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 27, No. 2 with No Previous Experience. The warning sticker on the cover tells you exactly what to expect from the advice in this book: Clear, Concise, Untested, Optimistic.

So after all three books I’m still a bit fuzzy on what actions define a man. I have learned, however, that cheap plastic does little to impede the force of a baseball hit by a professional athlete.

Richard

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All Things Everett Public Library

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